Please, Please Mr. Postman

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Please, Please Mr. Postman

We were both writing each other, but I was the only one receiving letters.

Once receiving an address, I mailed a large stack of letters to Frank that had been waiting on my nightstand to be mailed.

It would take days for Frank to get them.   Receiving letters from him while he poured out his love for me made my heart ache because I knew how depressed he was and that he had not gotten my letters of love to him.

It is a strange feeling to know your letters would comfort the one person who owns your heart and soul but you are not able to get them to him fast enough.   I prayed that soon a letter from him to me would let me know he had received my letters.

Frank had sent me a list of things he needed.  I did not have a recent picture of myself, so I had one made.  Before leaving Okinawa, I had my hair frosted which was a different look for me but Frank liked my new hairdo.

Once the pictures were developed, a picture frame was bought, and after gathering the other things together Frank had asked for, I hugged each item to me before placing them in a box then mailed the box to Frank.  Included in the box was a surprise package of some homemade cookies.  This might sound strange but making homemade cookies then mailing them to him, was actually like being able to touch him through something I had touched.

I mailed a form letter to the Paris Peace Talks January 30, 1971.

North Vietnamese Delegation and Delegation of the Provisional Revolutionary Government

Paris Peace Talks

Paris, France

I, the undersigned, am deeply distressed that more than 1500 American citizens who are missing in action and prisoners of war in Southeast Asia have not been accorded the basic, humanitarian protections of the Geneva Conventions.

Regardless of how I personally feel about the war itself, I believe that these men should be “officially identified”;  that they should be permitted “regular communication” with their families; that the facilities in which they are detained should be opened to “neutral inspection” and that the sick and wounded should be “immediately repatriated”.

For many U.S. citizens, no settlement of the war can be effectively negotiated until these strictly humanitarian objectives are attained.  I, therefore, urge you to encourage your government and your allies to take such action as may be necessary to assure the world that these men are being treated in accordance with the basic codes of human decency.

Mrs. L. F. Henderson, Jr.

Box 296

Van Vleck, Texas 77482

The form letter was returned to me with REFUSED stamped on the front of it.  I do not know how many of these form letters were returned to others who had filled them out.  All I know is that mine was refused and returned.

Form letter sent to Geneva Convention in 1971 about Vietnam War

Letter Refused by Paris Geneva Convention

Frank was always on my mind, the thought of him being in a war zone was unbearable.  The news on television was not much of a comfort either because it was always bad.  Protests against the Vietnam War were heating up, so not only were Frank and other soldiers fighting in a war, they were not being supported at home by a grateful nation.  The trials for Lt.Calley and others involved in the My Lai Massacre were in the news a lot which did not help.

Frank was a reader and he kept up with what was going on in the world, so I knew that it would not be long before he knew what was going on at home but he makes no mention of it in his next letters.

February 1, 1971, 20:00

Dear Lou, 

Well, how’s my darling wife?  As beautiful as ever?  Still love me as much as ever?  I know in my heart that all of these things are true.

I had a dream of you last night.  I dreamed that when I got to Oakland you were there outside the gate.  You were just as beautiful as I remember you.  You were smiling and you ran to me and I grabbed you in my arms and we kissed.  Then I saw us on a bus.  Me with my arm around you and you asleep on my arm.  I can remember looking at the window and seeing my reflection smiling back, I felt so content and happy all over.  Wow, I hope that dream reoccurs.  It was really beautiful.

Good news coming up!!  I may “ETS” on the 16th of November.  They’re giving everybody 59-day drops.  But it could change before then.  But right now it’s looking good.l  How’s that for good news.  Don’t get your hopes up because you know how lucky I am. I tried not to get mine up but I can’t help it.  I miss you more and more every day. 

I never realized before how much I loved you and how much I took for granted.  It’s hard to realize how much you need someone till you have to do without them.  Baby, I realize, I realize.  I try to write cheerful letters to you because I don’t want you depressed or worried about me.  But don’t think for one moment that because my letters are cheerful that I don’t miss you or love you.  Because living without you is pure hell.  I’ll tell you that now.  I’ve never done anything so hard as living without you is.  

But telling you about it and crying on your shoulder doesn’t help you or me.  So don’t ever think I don’t love you or miss you.  I treasure you more than I treasure my life.  I mean that.  So listen to me woman, I love you like no man ever loved a woman before.  Just keep that fact in mind if you ever doubt me.  I’ll never do you wrong because I love you so much.  Just try and love me back.  That’s all I ask.

I’m working days from 6:55 a.m. to 3:00 p.m.   I start work tomorrow.  How’s your job?  Did Cindy (Frank’s little sister who had turned four years old the day he wrote this letter) have a good birthday?  Did my card make it on time?  I hope son.  How’s Ebony and her puppies?  And how’re my kids, Candy and Homer?  Did the Money Order get there?  Lots of questions?  

Well had best go.  Remember me in your prayers.  Love is beautiful and I’m filled with beautifulness.

Your Loving Hubby,

Frank

Frank ended his letter with lots of questions which he had already asked me in a previous letter, so I knew he had not gotten my letters.  In the next letter, Frank will reveal his love of music to you.  He really loved music.  Music was Frank’s saving grace and it spoke to him by helping him deal with his inner feelings.   We always had music playing in our home.

February 3, 1971,  1800

Dear Lou,

“I woke up in the morning with my hair in my eyes and she says “Hi”.  I stumble to the breakfast table while the kids are off to school, “Good-bye”. And she reaches out and takes my hand and squeezes it and says “How you feeling Hon”.  And if that’s not loving me, then God didn’t make little green apples.”

“Raindrops keep falling on my head and just like the guy whose feet are too big for my bed.  There’s one thing I know, the blues they sent to greet me won’t defeat me.  It won’t be long till happiness steps up to meet me, because I’m never going to stop the rain by complaining.”

As you may have guessed Darling, I love you. These blues aren’t about to beat me and I know damn good and well that happiness is fixing to come my way.  Then that rain cloud that keeps raining on us will have to move over because that sunshine will burn it up.  Then we can start counting our little green apples.  If we can count that high.

I’m able to look up at that rain cloud and shake my fist at it and laugh and say, “Rain while you can because soon your rain, the worlds problems, or 10,000 miles can ever make me unhappy again.”

Too many things have happened in our 3 years of marriage that would have busted up our love if it hadn’t been so strong and devoted.  They can separate us, make us poor, deprive us but they can’t kill our love.  Makes you feel good, doesn’t it?  It sure makes me feel that my life is worth living. It makes me happy that I found a woman like you.

Do you know we got something that some people would pay money for, would steal to get it, and do anything else in their power to achieve?  It was ours for free.  The only price was that we should never misuse or otherwise abuse it.  I feel I’m very lucky to be the recipient of such a gift and I thank the giver every night.

Does this in anyway express how I feel?  I hope so.  I want so much for you to believe in me and love me. How are Ebony, Candy, Homer, and any other animal you’ve acquired doing?  Had any puppies yet?  How many?  I can’t wait to get a letter from you.  Had better close for now.  I love you very much.

Your Hubby,

Frank

P.S. 347 or 288 DLITA

P.S.P.S.  I miss your body.

Frank was trying hard to deal with the loneliness but without any word from me he was caught in a world of not knowing what to think but he was fighting for me even though I was already totally his.  These letters made me cry when I got them.  I cried because I loved him so much,  he was so lonely,  he was struggling with unnecessary doubts about me, and he was trying to fight a battle for my love that he had already won.  Frank knew all of this but he was not thinking straight and he was so lonely.

Frank has been calling me Lou in his last few letters which is a pet name he gave me.  He mainly called me this when he was just being playful and trying not to be too serious but I knew from reading his letters that he was very upset and serious.

You will notice in this next letter that he calls me Nancy.  Frank called me, Nancy when he told me how much he loved me or needed me to know how serious he was.   Frank had decided to talk to me very openly and seriously about what was on his mind.

February 6, 1971

Dear Nancy,

Well, how’s today find you?  I hope fine.  How’s everybody?

Do you realize it’s been since the 10th of January that I’ve had any form of communications with you?  Sure does make a guy feel alone and lonely. I miss you so badly.  Don’t feel sorry for me because I don’t need sympathy.  I need you and you only.  Don’t worry about me either cause there’s really nothing to worry about.  Apart from being lonely and missing you so very much, I’m great.

Today is my 21st day in Nam and my 33rd day since I last saw you.  Seems like a year already.  Listen, young lady, I got to thinking about this last night.  You make sure you eat right.  I mean vegetables, meat, and other good stuff.  I don’t want to hear of you getting sick or rundown.  I could care if you weight 300 lbs.  when I get home as long as your healthy.

In plain English, take good care of yourself because you belong to me.  Heard that somewhere before?  Not much else to say.  I love you and miss you and that covers everything except I also miss your body.

Your Hubby  (the sex fiend)

Frank

P.S.  I love you.

Frank totally opened up to me in the letter above.  He desperately needed to hear from me and he needed to hear from me very soon.

Reading his letter made me cry tears of desperation and concern for him.  I prayed to God begging Him to get my letters to Frank, my heart and soul.

February 9, 1971

Dear Wonderful,

How’s the most wonderful woman that ever walked?  This most luckiest guy in the world loves you more than anything loved anything before.  Wow!! That’s all I can say is Wow!! Life is beautiful and love is 50 times as good.

Did you know that yesterday was the most wonderful day I’ve ever spent in Nam? You know why?  I went to the Post Office after work and my box had 7 letters in it!!  It took me an hour to read them because I took in each word and really absorbed it.  Before I was depressed and really feeling lonely.  Now, man, I’m in Heaven.  To be loved the way you love me is unreal. No one should be that fortunate.  For a man to be loved by a woman and possess all her love is a man’s dream.

All I can say is thank you for choosing me.  I thanked God over and over. What can I say?  I’m trying to tell you on paper how full my heart is with love and how much I’m crazy about you and it just can’t be done.  I get frustrated trying to explain it to you.  Believe me, Honey you’re it for me, you’ve always been it, and always will be.

What more could I ever have than what I have in you?  I’m lonely and sometimes terrible depressed but a letter like those gives me a something.  It’s hard to explain.  I’m still just as lonely but it makes me feel better.  I think because I know how fortunate I really am and how much I’m looking forward to California and our 2nd honeymoon.

Baby don’t or try not to get down and feel too depressed if you can.  If you do just think of how much your freckled-faced idiot loves you and how before long he’ll have you, hold you, and be telling you to stop crying cause everything is going to be alright now.  And you can bet anything you want it’s going to be.

If anyone ever tells me, “Well the company is shipping you somewhere”, he’s going to get a broken nose and a few teeth missing.  You and I love each other too much to be without each other again.  When you go to the bathroom, I’m following you.  We have something too precious to let one minute slip by without being with each other.

Let me answer some questions:

1.  Don’t send me any checks or money because I don’t need it and the more money we have then nicer time we can have in Oakland.  If you don’t need it put the tax return on the car.

2. I want to quit smoking on the 1st of March.

3.  Don’t and I mean don’t EVER think that I get tired of hearing you say, “I Love You”.  That means so much to me, so don’t think I ever get tired of hearing it.

4.  I’ll write as often as I possibly can.  I try to write every other day.  I’m kept pretty busy here, there are more duties here than in Okie so I promise to write whenever I can.

I know you worry but I’m safe and nobody could keep you from me.  I love you, you wonderful woman.  I’d better close, I have a security at 3:00 p.m. (on my first day off in 35 days).  Be good and keep loving me. “May God give you the strength to have courage and the courage to have strength”.

All My Love,

Frank

P.S. Tell H & C & E  “Hi”

P.S.P.S.   Love is Beautiful.

P.S.P.S.P.S.  It’s 10 o’clock and I want to tell you I love you, Darling, very very much.

God loved us and he answered our prayers.  Thank you, God.

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4 Comments

  1. This chapter Ms.Henderson is…(as you have exclaimed many time yourself, in other posts) just pure “awesomeness “!
    As a matter of fact Lou, I’m thinking you actually may have coined what may very well be anong the best one word expressions, ever!!
    And yes, I’ve no doubt there’s gonna be a million billion people out there claiming otherwise…but, we know better, don’t we? Especially since what they can’t prove, you and Frank can…as I simply say thank you both for the ” beautifulness “, of your love!

    Truly great writing Nancy!

    ddh

    • Thank you so much Dennis. I truly did not think those letters would ever get to Frank.
      We missed each other so much. Frank’s letters are absolutely priceless but you will see that as they are posted. I am going the easy part of writing now because he is doing most of it.
      God Bless You,Dennis,
      Nancy

  2. Another exceptional post. Love is all over and through it, and it’s beautiful. God bless you as you continue sharing that which is closest to your heart.

    I just came to the realization (where on earth have I been, anyway?) that I am not following you. I am going to fix that as soon as I submit this comment. How did I miss that?

    • I thought you were following me too. Thank you again Diane for reading and commenting.
      I dudn’t think I would ever get an address to send my letters to him. I was getting his letters and could feel his loneliness but I couldn’t get my love for him to him.
      God Bless You, Diane,
      Nancy

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