Guard Duty and Cookies

Posted in Vietnam Letters | 4 comments

Frank was finally receiving my letters and boxes. Finally, he could begin to realize that there was no need to worry about who would always own my heart and soul.

Loneliness through separation from the person you truly love added to being in a war with so much uncertainty of what the next day may bring can cause a person to think of the worst of what could happen instead of the truth that they know inside them.

My biggest worry was for Frank’s health and safety.  I was so terrified of something happening to him and him not returning to me alive.  Loving Frank with all of my heart and soul, I did not know how to ever live without him.  I prayed every night begging God to please not take him from me.

Frank being lonely and depressed upset me but his wondering about my faithfulness to him never phased me.  I knew he had nothing to ever worry about but also knew it was up to me to let him know how much I loved and needed him.

Anything Frank asked for in his letters, I bought, packaged it up and sent it to him but sometimes I just sent homemade cookies as a surprise.  Frank’s Mom and I would sometimes get together at his folk’s home and make cookies together Frank.

The next letter is short but a very tired happy letter.

February 21, 1971

Dear Lou,

Well, how’s my wife this morning?  I’m sorry I haven’t written sooner.  I just learned yesterday that I had guard duty today.  So I got up at 6:00 a.m. yesterday, went to work and got off at 3:00 p.m., had to go out to our perimeter at 4:00 p.m. and stood guard at a bunker all night. 

I just got off and ate. I’ll sleep until 3:00 p.m. then the same thing again for two more nights.  That’s why I’m trying to write to you now before I fall asleep.  I wanted you to understand if I don’t write in the next two days.

Yesterday, when I found out that I had guard duty, I said to Lee that it sure would be nice if those cookies you promised got here before guard so I’d have something to munch on during the night. Well, I checked mail and there they were.  I sure do thank you and Mom for thinking of me.  It means a lot. 

Thanks so much for being my life.  I’m so lucky.

Your Loving Tired Husband,

Frank

P.S.  I miss you so and love you so my Darling

Frank was so tired but he wanted to let me know why he had not written and how happy he was to get those homemade cookies.  Guard duty at night in Vietnam meant he stayed up all night, falling asleep was not an option, even if he had worked all day.

Writing to Frank was the last thing I did before going to sleep at night.   This gave me a true feeling of really talking to him about my day and telling him how much I loved him and missed him before telling him goodnight. After addressing the envelope, putting the letter inside then sealing it to be mailed the next morning, I always hugged Frank’s pillow close to me while thinking about him as I slowly tried to fall asleep.

Sometimes if it was a rough night of tears, I would get out of bed, go to the closet, and get one of his shirts to wear.  Even though his shirts had been washed, there was still a lingering sweet smell of his aftershave in the fabric which gave me a peaceful feeling.  Night time was always the worst time and the loneliest time.

Frank finished guard duty then wrote me the following letter.  His time being alone all night in the bunker had affected him.  Being totally alone was the loneliest and hardest time for both of us.

February 25, 1971

Dear Lou,

Well, how’s my lovely wife today?  I hope you’re great and feel good.  I’m lonely as hell.  I miss you so very much.   How much longer can 10 months be?  Well, it’s passing slowly but it is passing. 

I got off guard duty yesterday, boy does it really get to you. We’re fixing to go on 12&12 shift from 4:00 a.m. in the morning until 4:00 p.m. in the afternoon.  Time seems to be going pretty fast.

I hope you liked the flowers and candy.  That’s the only way I could get it.

I got your letter about keeping my fingers crossed and as you have to know I am.  It won’t make any difference in the way I feel for you one way or the other.  My love for you couldn’t grow any stronger no matter what happens.  I love you with all my heart.

Darling, I’m looking so forward to California.  I can see it in my dreams.

Well, I want to ask you to send me a cassette player and some tapes.  I have so much to say to you and so many feelings to express and I can’t do it on paper, so if you don’t mind please send it. I’m sorry I haven’t written in the past four days but I’ve been so busy with guard duty.  But I’m not now and I’ll start writing again. Thanks for being patient with me.  You’re very understanding.  I love you for it.  I love you for everything.

I’m going to have to close for now.  It’s getting late.  Sleep well and keep yourself well.  I’ll be there soon.  Pray for me as I pray for you.  I love you.

Your Lonely Loving Husband,

Frank

Once I had finally gotten in to see the Doctor, he told me that it was a possibility that I could be pregnant because of just spotting.  I was told to wait two more weeks then a pregnancy test could be run.  So I wrote Frank a letter telling him to keep his fingers crossed.

Frank is really in good spirits in this next letter and I can see it in his writing.

February 27, 1971,  1000

Dear Lou,

You beautiful thing.  I love you so very much.  I love you for every little thing you do.  You’re the most loving, considerate, understanding, and responsible woman I’ve ever known.  You have all the traits of a good woman, wife, and mother.

You’re the type of woman that God made to take care of some bumbling man that would have trouble making it on his own.  And you got a bumbling man on your hands so you’re fulfilling your way of life. 

So, since you taken me in I’ve developed the strength to become what I want to be. You’ve given me the strength to take what life dishes out and not quit and give up.  I only hope that I give you a little strength. 

Darling lean on me.  That’s what marriage is about.  I know it’s hard to lean and depend on me when I’m so far away but I’ll be more than happy to be of any service that I can to you. It makes a person feel good to know that the person they love depends on them and needs them and needs their help. 

It all boils down to the fact, I love you and I want to be a good husband for you.  I wouldn’t feel these things if I didn’t love you with every inch of being I have. Thanks so much for the box of cheeses.  They were fantastic. 

The box had ham, summer sausage, cookies, jelly, gum candy, 15 million different kinds of cheese, potato sticks, cheese sticks and everything else.  We ate almost all of it up last night. I didn’t even eat chow so I could tear into that good food.  By the way, I never want to see another potato in my life.  I’m so sick of potatoes, I could scream.

Honey, a friend of mine from Quitaque, Texas (close to Canyon and Plainview) came to me last night for advice.  He’s married and has a kid.  I talk about how lucky I am and how good you are all the time.  He was fascinated by the way we save money and how you take care of money and how you do it.

His wife spends almost all the money he sends home, her allotment, and her check from working.  She lives with her folks so there are no rent or food expenses.  He wanted to know how I got you to be such a saver.  I told him that you developed that on your own with no help from me. It makes you feel good when someone asks advice on marriage problems. 

Everyone can see where our’s is beautiful.  They see how we get along.  They see me getting a letter almost every day and packages.  They know you ask me if I need anything and if I did you’d send it to me.  They see me refuse to go and have a beer because I need to write.  They hear me talk of you and show your picture to everyone at least 5 times.  They catch me daydreaming and smiling and they know what I’m thinking of. 

It’s perfect.  Two people so much in love with each other and completely devoted to one another’s needs and so happy to be in love. Thanks for being that type of woman.  You make me feel really proud to be married to you.  I’m so damn lucky. 

I love you more than my life.  God bless you and take care of you for me.  I love you so much.

Your Loving Husband,

Frank P.S.  You know that longhorn we gave your Dad?  Well, you think it’s got horns you ought to see mine.  HA. HA.

P.S.P.S.  Is there anything you’d like to have from over here?

In my last letter to Frank, I had asked him where Phu Bai was.

Stationary with Phu Bai, Vietnam 1971

8th RRFS Phu Bai, Vietnam 1971

He sent me a sheet of stationery with the above letter which had Vietnam at the bottom of it.  He drew a line on the paper with an arrow at the end pointing to Phu Bai.  you asked about the 8th RRFS

The message on the sheet of paper says:  You asked about the 8th RRFS.  So here it is.  Isn’t it fantastic? uk!

The last word says it all.

This was the last letter I got from Frank in February of 1971.  We had made it nearly two months being separated but we had ten more months to go.  Our love will continue to be tested.

 

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4 Comments

  1. Another beautiful slice of life shared by two people in love. I so appreciate your husband’s ability to share his feelings. That is a trait too few ‘men’ are able today to share with all of the BS about what masculinity is “supposed” to be.
    Looking forward to more.

    • Thank you so much, Chuck. You know at the time, I was used to us sharing our deepest feelings openly with each other. Frank was never afraid to tell me how much he loved me. Wow, I was so blessed.
      God Bless You, Chuck,
      Nancy

  2. Nancy, I agree with Chuck about Frank’s ability to verbalize freely how he felt for you. We need to see more of this today. If husbands cherished their wives as Frank cherished you, there would be far less divorces. Paul admonished men to love their wives as Christ loved the church. That’s a tall order, but I think Frank did a pretty good job of living up to it. God bless. Looking forward to more letters.

    • Thank you so much Diane. I am typing another chapter now and feeling very very loved with each of his written words as I type them. I was so blessed by God to have had this Amazing man in my life.
      God Bless You,
      Nancy

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