Frank Explains Love

Dear Nancy,

I bet you don’t know just how good these cookies taste, do you?  Well, let an expert tell you.  They taste delicious.  I have been eating them this morning and I’m about to finish them up. I guess you’re wondering why I’m writing so much.  Well, between guard duty, CQ, and my day off (today), I’ve had a lot of time to myself and I can’t think of anyone who I would rather spend my time with. 

I’m sitting here with some water boiling in an old coffee can for my OD green coffee (instant) and eating cookies and smoking. I wrote my folks and your folks the other night on CQ after I wrote you.

Hey you.  I love you.  I hope that you know how sincere my love for you is.  I also hope you know how true and devoted my love for you is.  It’s really hard to explain my feelings for you, Darling.  What I think it amounts to is I have turned all my feelings, emotions, and mind to you and this is all yours now.  You have made a gift of all these things to me also. 

We give all the feelings or love to each other reluctantly at first and each one of us held back a little of ourselves because we were afraid to completely trust each other with the greatest gift one person can give another.  Slowly we began to see that this gift we were partially giving was also being offered in return.

So, little by little we started giving a little more and a little more because we found that we were trustworthy and that we also got the same amount back.  Now, we are over the cautious period and we both pour everything that we have into our love and this is what really makes our love have the beauty it now has.  We were cheating each other but in the back of our minds we had to be sure and by gosh now I have no doubts and I never will again. 

I knew all along how much you really loved me but I was afraid to be totally open to you.  I knew you doubted me and now I can see where you would.  I never showed my love in the ways I should, I never spoke of love to you, and in all, I treated you rather bad.

This separation has been hell but from my viewpoint, I really am glad it happened.  It woke in me the feelings I had been trying to hide and not let take over me completely.  It has made me realize that I love you more than anything in this world.  It made me realize that I’m so very lucky.  It has made me realize just how important it is for me to show exactly what I feel and tell you what’s in my heart and what I feel for you.

I use to think if I showed you how I really felt you would take advantage of me and think of me less of a man.  I thought you would think I was weak and not as a man should be.  I know now that a man can be open and show his feelings and still be a strong man and respected too. You haven’t treated me any different, quite the contrary, now you are more open and I feel you love me more than ever. 

So, I made my mistake and I hope you’ll forgive “my” stupid maleness that possessed me for so long.  I will admit that the way I acted was the part of a fool and thank God, I realized my mistake and corrected it before I broke your heart or hurt you any more than I already had.

Our life is beautiful now because we both are open in our love and above all, we are honest and truthful with each other.  Now that I see how wonderful our love now is, I can’t see how I could have been so blind for so long.  I guess it’s just that I was never mature.  I feel now that we both have reached more maturity and oh how beautiful it is!

I explain all this to you because I feel you understand me better than anyone else.  I want you to understand that you have everything I have and it’s all yours and always will be.  I want you to know that nothing is being held back from you or will it ever be. In other words, I love you, my Darling with a love greater than any man could ever love a woman.

When I get home you’ll never find another more devoted husband, lover, and father.  Yes, father.  We are going to have a kid.  With a love as great and wonderful, it’s impossible not to.  I’m serious.  We are there now.  We are both being totally open and truly in love and we will never part again.  I feel now God will give us a child.  So that’s all there is to it.

Darling, I’m going to close for now.  I want you to understand that anything you want from me is yours.  I will do anything in my power for you and all I want back is your love.  God bless you my Darling and keep happy because you can bet when I get home, I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world. 

My life is devoted to making you happy and secure.  Take care of yourself and pray for me and our love as I do.

All My Love for You and You Alone,

Frank

Dear Nancy,

Well, I guess by now you realize how much of an ass you married.  I guess I’m just crazy.  I don’t really know what’s wrong with me at all. 

I just have trouble believing that everything is going to work out so fine.  I know it is but I just don’t want to believe it because I’m afraid if I do it won’t work.  I’m really mixed up.

If you can just put up with me for 92 more days then I think I’ll be ok.  These last few months are really dragging me down.  I keep thinking about getting a job, going back to school, and all the other stuff.  I think and worry about these things because I don’t want to fail.

I keep wondering if I can do it.  I want to so much.  I want to do everything right so you’ll be proud of me and trust in me.  I’m looking forward to it because it’s a test of my abilities. in my ability to take care of you and raise and care for our family.

Also, I’m kind of scared of failure too.  I have always enjoyed a test, the chance to compete, and I’m usually fairly confident in myself.  Yet, I have never entered a competition as strong as this.  All I’m asking of you is your confidence in me and to stand by me with all the love you have.  I’ll do the rest.

When I get these feelings sometimes I don’t really know.  One minute, I have all the confidence in the world, the next I don’t have any.  I’m like I said before, mixed up.  That’s why I feel the week or two we spend up there alone and completely by ourselves will do us both so much good. 

We can completely relax and let all this tension and built up pressures out by strictly being at ease and being completely happy.  Pretty soon you can actually forget how it is to feel depressed and lonely.  Loneliness has to be the worst feeling in the entire human feeing system.  I don’t ever want to feel lonely again.

Right now, I’m putting everything else aside and just looking for enough ahead to see getting out and spending two weeks with you by ourselves.  Then we can make our plans and decide on what we’re going to do.  We’ll have plenty of time to sit down and talk.  I picture us sitting side by side by a small creek or stream or even on the side of a hill and talking for hours. 

I’m sorry, I’m such a bore and I’m so damned weird Honey.  I know it’s asking a lot to put up with me but that’s exactly what I’m doing, is asking you to stay by me and my foolishness for 92 more days and then I’ll try to explain my feeling and try in some way to make things up to you if I can.

I love you and no matter how stupid I seem, my love for you isn’t.  You’re the only thing in this world that means anything to me any more.  I can’t make it without you and that beautiful love of yours.  I’m sorry once again.

God bless you, my Darling and keep you safe for me.  I love you, Darling.

All my Love is Yours,

Frank

P.S. Could you kick me in the butt?