Dearest Fancy

Posted in Letters After R&R | 2 comments

Dearest Fancy

Frank was really worried about our future in his last letter.

Even though he was getting upset and depressed, after a few days of thinking deeply, I knew Frank would come back with the strength that was in him, realize how much I loved him, how proud I was of him, and together as a team, we would work out the future.

The next letter proves how resilient Frank was.

October 17, 1971

Dear Nancy,

Dearest Francy, huh?  Well, I’m in a fancy mood tonight.  Are you over the shock yet?  Yep, old grouchy nasty me is in a fairly decent mood.  No, I’m not feeling sorry for myself and brooding.  I’m just as lonely as I was a few days ago but I’ve wised up a little.  I hope!  Sometimes I can really be a dick, can’t I?  Well, I’ve had my little fit for this month and I bet you’re getting kind of tired of them aren’t you? 

Well, as the saying goes, “being in love means never having to say you’re sorry”. Well, I believe in that even though I don’t practice it.  I feel you understand me and know I have my moods and you love me, so you accept them even though you don’t like it.  You don’t get angry because my weird moods are a part of me and you love me.

See now, I’ve thought all about these things that I’m too ignorant to realize when I get in one of my funky moods.  If I can learn to think of these things when I’m like that, then my stupid tongue would keep still or better yet, my writing hand would write LOVE instead of depression.

Yep, the kid has got his confidence and ambition back.  Once again, I can lick the world and every S.O.B. in it but I had to get my head on straight.  TIMEOUT.

Ok, TIME IN.  I had to make me a cup of that good old OD Green coffee.  Ugh!  Oh well, what the heck.  Surprised you, didn’t I?  You thought I was going to say hell, didn’t you?  Well, see what a good boy, I am?  Well, most of the time I am.

Well, we finally got off of 12 & 12s but getting a day off is still like trying to swim home.  Now, I’m not knocking trying to swim home because if I get much hornier, I’ll try it and make it if I can find water deep enough where I don’t drag bottom.  Maybe, I can pole vault over the ocean.  Good grief, Frank!!!  Oh well, I figure you know how I feel.  We’ll just have to do something about that when our time comes.

The more I think about it, I feel we should spend maybe three weeks at your Granddad’s farm.  Or better yet, a month.  Better than that, let’s just stay there forever and be alone.  The more I think about it, the better I feel and the more anxious I become.  I ‘m really excited about it.

You know what I think about a lot?  Of seeing you for the first time again.  To see you smile and maybe a little tear in the corner of your eye when you see me again and me trying to act cool and not just split my face wideout with a simile and never succeeding.  Then I’ll walk out the gate and you’ll be in my arms and by golly, I don’t care if the whole city of Houston is there, I’m going to grab you and kiss you for at least thirty minutes. People will just have to go around you and me cause I’m not moving until I have you in my arms and taste your sweet lips. 

I think then I’ll let out the biggest happiest yell you ever heard and tell everyone I see I’m out of the _ _ _ _ _ _ _ army, I’m in love and I’m the happiest S.O.B. you’ll ever see.  I can hardly wait.  I’m so happy just thinking about it.  I love you so very much!!!

Wow!  Here I am on the 3rd page!  What’s come over me?  I really feel like writing tonight.  I’ve been thinking about writing you all day and I really enjoy sitting down and talking to you.  This is the closest I can get to being with you and it’s a good feeling.

I got your letters (three) yesterday.  I’m glad you’re helping Connie and Jimmy.  It sounds like they really appreciate your help too.  I bet Jimmy is running around like a chicken with his head cut off.  HA!

What things are you going to do for me?  No surprises.  Yea, surprise me.  I’ve been racking my brain trying to figure out just what these surprises are.  Don’t tell me, Ok?

You said you were sorry about not remembering the microphone for my tape.  I’ll quote you then chew you out. “I’m sorry, Honey, I should have some sense by now and know how to remember things but I don’t but I promise if you’ll keep loving me as you do now that I’ll try to make up for all of my dumb faults.”  

Alright now.  Here it comes.  “If I’ll keep loving you.”  Bite your tongue.  Have you ever thought that I could stop?  I couldn’t.  Not ever.  So you get that dumb thought out of you’re head right now. Next, I don’t care if you forget my name but don’t you ever forget that you love me and I love you.  That’s the most important thing.  “I’ll try to make up for all my dumb faults.”  Listen as far as I’m concerned, your only fault is putting up with this dumb ox for so long. 

If you don’t quit cutting yourself down you’re going to be in trouble. I love you and I love you for what you are.  All these things you consider as faults are what make you what you are.  That’s part of you and if you ever change one little thing about yourself, I’ll be disap[pointed.  The clicking sound you make when you’re asleep, crying at sad movies, your laugh, your smile, your tenderness, and so many other things are all you and they are what makes you, Nancy.

I love that Nancy and I like her just the way she is and I wouldn’t trade one of these things for anything in the world.  So you stay the way you are because you’re loved for being yourself and being the only Nancy like you in the world and this man is so very happy to be the man in your life.  I love you, Nancy and that’s all there is to it.

Darling, I have to close before I write a book.  Please take care of yourself and keep that love you have for me going like it always has.  I couldn’t ask for anything more.  God bless you my wife and keep you safe for me.

All my love is forever yours,

Frank

P.S.  Tell your Dad that I’m getting ribbed about the Texas vs Okie game.  I can’t stand it and I hope your Mom is putting it to him also.

Frank never failed to get himself together, get back to being positive, and look ahead to coming home.  He was a fighter and would not allow his emotions to get the best of him, ever.   He kept me positive, lifted my spirits, and taught me how to dig deep inside myself to overcome all obstacles.

A year is a very long time to be away from the person you love.  The feeling of the length of that separation has never left me.  It is a feeling that you can not put into words.

Frank’s next letter is a short one but his spirits are high.

October 19, 1971

Dearest Nancy,

Hello, there my Darling.  How’s my life today?  I hope you are in as good spirits as I am. 

I’m getting short.  We’re going to be with each other soon.  Oh happy days, years, and just one hugely happy lifetime.  

I received two letters from you yesterday and one today.  They were great!  Maybe you think your letter writing doesn’t mean so much because you can’t express yourself, but Honey, your letters mean so much to me! 

Your letters make me so very happy because I can read of your love for me and how happy my love seems to make you.  I love you so very much.

Honey, it’s late and I really must go to bed.  I know this is short but I’ll get a longer one off tomorrow.  It’s been a long rough day. Please take care of yourself because you’re the whole world to me and I’m worthless without you. 

God bless you and keep you safe.

All my love for my darling, Nancy,

Frank

P.S.  Tell everyone “Hi” and I will see them all soon.

Around the first week in October, I had gone to Killeen, Texas to help my sister-in-law, Connie, and my brother, Jimmy, with their newly born daughter who was the first born niece for Frank and me.  She was so precious and it was so much fun to be asked to go with them to their home and help out with the baby.

I do not remember how long I stayed with them but it was an awesome experience.  I had written to Frank to tell him where I was.  He thought maybe I was glad to get away from our little white framed house, but I missed it.

October 22, 1971

Dearest Nancy,

Well, here I am again talking to my most wonderful wife.  I hope that you’re doing alright and that you’re looking forward to my homecoming. I’m on break today.  That’s why I didn’t write last night because now I have all day to write.

I’m going to answer some of your questions and make a few comments then I’ll check mail at noon and if I got some more mail I’ll do the same again.  I realize that this is late, but if you’re like me there are questions I would like to have the answers to even if they are late.  So, here goes.

You say that you would be more than glad to get back to Van Vleck because you missed our little house and the things you could be doing there.  That sounds so good to me.  For a while there I thought that maybe you were getting tired of our house and I was hoping you weren’t because all my thoughts are directed around you and our house.

I guess it’s because that’s our first real house.  It’s not our first house but it’s our first one in the “world”.  I’m kind of a sentimental nut but I love thinking about sitting on the floor late at night watching the late show together.  Things like that are really pleasant thoughts.

I like hearing that you’re caught up in getting things ready for us when we’re together again.  It will make your time go by fast and it makes me realize that you’re crazy.  But not crazy, crazy but crazy about me, and that is beautiful.  

I’m glad your birthday gifts got home, finally.  I’m sorry they didn’t get there on time, but I ordered them in August.  I hope you like what I got you because I tried to get what I thought you would like. That about covers it.  So, if I get some more letters at noon, I’ll read and answer the questions too.

Right now I’m listening to the Carpenters.  The tape is playing “Close to You”.  It’s really nice.  That song “We’ve Only Just Begun” is us.  It describes us so well.  It’s true.  We have only just begun.  We have so many years of happiness and love left that we have only begun to feel all we are going to feel. But it’s so great now, isn’t it?  Just think what it’s going to be in twenty or thirty years, twenty or thirty times better.

I wish that every man and woman alive could find the love that we have.  It’s so beautiful.  I’ve just begun to love you too! 

I’ve got so many questions to ask about our plans for Hico.  First, have you got the keys and are you sure it’s alright for us to be there?  What are you going to tell your family?  Will you be able to pack and meet me in Houston without anyone knowing?  How about writing me and telling me what you have planned, so I can share in the excitement.  Ok?  Ok!

I still don’t know what I’m going to tell my folks.  What I’m hoping for is a Christmas drop.  I went to Personel yesterday and they said that there were rumors of Christmas drops and that maybe they would come down soon.  So, keep your fingers crossed.  If they do then you’ll be the only one to know.  So, that way no one will expect me home early and we’ll have no problem.  I don’t expect any anyway.

If they don’t like it, well I’m sorry but that’s the way it goes.  I’m taking that time with you and I don’t care who says what.  We both deserve it and by golly, we’re going to have it.

Guess what?  I put in for my ETS orders yesterday.  That really makes me feel like I’m getting short.

Honey have you had the test run?  You mentioned something about it a while back but you’ve said no more about it in a long time.  So, please keep me informed.  Ok? Ok!  Well, I’m going to knock off awhile and check mail so hold on I’ll be back soon.

Well, here I am back but I didn’t get any mail, so I’ll have to just rap about other things.  How about talking about SEX?  No, that’s not a good subject.  It’s alright when you can have visual aids to help you learn.  HA!  Who needs to learn?  I just need a lot more practice.  HA!  I guess you can’t tell that I’m a little (?) horny, could you?

Well, it’s clouding up and should be raining in a few minutes.  I’m about sick of this darn rain.  I’ll be glad to see old Texas and her dryness again.

Honey, do you realize that in only 86 days or less we’ll be holding each other again?  It seems like such a short time, compared with the 365 days we started out with.  Well, it’s about our turn at last.  It’s going to be so wonderful because we’ve waited for so long for it to come.

Our love has developed into something that is more beautiful than anything else in the world.  We’ve grown up so much in these past three years and so many months.  We’ve found the true meaning of love and happiness at last. 

There is no greater feeling in the world than loving and being loved.  It has its sad times but the happiness it provides more than makes up for any bad times.  I’m so lonely at times I could almost cry, but never have I wished I wasn’t so much in love.  I wouldn’t trade being in love for anything in any world.  I just love you so much my Darling.  I love you so much.

Honey, I had better close for now and try and get a shower before the water is cut off again.  Please take care of yourself.  I pray for God to protect you and to keep you safe for me.  Keep smiling for me.  Ok?  Ok!

All my Love is Yours,

Frank

I do not think there is anything that can be added to Frank’s letter.  He was really hoping for a Christmas drop but he was also excited about getting his ETS orders put in which meant he was getting shorter.

Frank and I had only 86 days left of being separated.  I received the next letter on October the 30th.  It is a very short letter but it made me dance around the room, smiling from ear to ear, and so very happy!

October 25, 1971

Dearest Nancy,

33 DLITA

“SHORT”

DROPS MAKE IT!!!

Frank

P.S. F.T.A.

This letter still makes me smile, want to dance, and shout to the world!  Not 83 days left in Vietnam but dropped to 33 days.  By the time I got the above letter, Frank would only have 28 days left in Vietnam.  I thanked God for that over and over.

We’ve only just begun.

<<<<Book One Next Chapter >>>>>

2 Comments

  1. So human, to have our conversations with and without the focus of our love, being there. Like the lyric from the song Sister Golden Hair by the band America…” I’ve been one poor correspondent and I’m way too hard to find, but that doesn’t mean you ain’t been on my mind…” we try. When I was married, it was well after my time of letter writing.
    Your story reminds those of us who’d rely on the written word how valuable the struggle to share our true feelings will always be for its small moments successfully shared.
    Life is often nothing more than a successful struggle to build something that lasts. Those who really live, I think, have figured out that love is that foundation on which to build. Whether our love is shared with another or with the whole world the struggle is part and parcel to finding out whether or not it’s true. On the road to forever we, everyone of us have only just begun.
    Loved this chapter, Nancy. You and Frank, continued…

    • Hello Dennis. Praying you are doing well.
      Thank you so much for your comment. You have such a Beautiful way of putting words together that require us all to take a moment to let them soak in to receive deep caring meanings. Your understanding of life is very special. You are so right about love being the foundation for building a strong foundation.
      God Bless you, Dennis.
      Love,
      Nancy

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