Disposition Form Letter

Posted in Letters After R&R | 4 comments

I was very worried about Frank and knew his last letter to me was so out of character for him.  Frank seemed to have lost all of his inward fight to depression.  I prayed that God would touch Frank with His loving hands, pull him out of the depths of depression and mend his body.

The next letter Frank typed on a Disposition Form.  It shows his resilience and God’s hand in answering my prayers.  I will try to put it in here as much like the original as I can but I do not know how to do form letters on the website.   This letter was typed so I will not italicize it.

DISPOSITION FORM

Subject:  My love for my wife!!!!!!!!!

To:  My wife, Nancy

From:  Her husband, me

Date:  05 September 1971

Dear Nancy,

Hi!!!!!  Amazing isn’t it?  I can really type.  I am on C.Q.  The last goof up was the typewriter, not me.  I had to rewind the ribbon.  Hey, did I tell you yet that I love you?  Well, if I haven’t then I am sorry because I really do.  You can bet I do!  More than anything in this world, I love you.  How about that?

Right now it is raining like a son-of-a-gun.  About 400 inches a minute.  Boy, this typewriter is different from any I have ever used.  I guess I will get the hang of it soon.  So, be patient.

Honey, I am really sorry for what I wrote the other night.  I was just tired and did not feel really well.  So, I ask you to forgive it.  Sometimes a person says things that he or she does not really mean when they are depressed or upset.  I hope you will understand.

Things are really not as bad as I sounded.  I mean this is Vietnam and things are expected to be bad but sometimes, I just get to feeling sorry for myself and I lean on you.  I am sorry if anything upset you or caused you any concern.  This was not intended.  I just felt sorry for myself and I needed a shoulder to cry on and you were the closest. Please forgive me for acting like a fool.

I am really sorry and I ask you to please forgive me.  I realize that you have enough to worry about without me burdening you down with my troubles and feelings.  So, once again I will say that I am sorry.  Beyond that, all I can say is that I love you so very, very much. Hey, enough of my saying I am sorry.  I love you more than anything in this world and that is all that should count.

DISPOSITION FORM                                                       Page 2

Subject:  Continuation of my love for my wife

To:  The same old wonderful wife

From:  The same old hubby

Date:  same old 05 September 1971

Yep, I made another page.  Wow!  Hey, kid, did you know that I love “ypu” so very much.  Boy, “you” did not come out very right did it??  Well, I am working on it.  ha! ha!  Even the ha ha’s did not come out.  Well, I never claimed to be a “secetary”, now did I?  Besides that I can’t even spell, “secatary” (secratary), right can I???

How is everything on the home front?  I hope that everything is ok with you.  Other than that I just don’t care one way or the other, like I have said many times, “you are the only thing that makes life worth living.”  Believe me that, that is exactly what I mean too.

My life would not be worth living without you and I really mean it. I guess, you just have to face it, I love you and there is nothing you can do about it.  Like it or not, woman, you are stuck with me and the only way out is to stop loving me and I know your love is too strong to let this happen.  So it looks like we are stuck with each other forever.  Heck, that does not sound too bad to me. Ha! Ha!…

I haven’t heard from you in three days and I only hope that you aren’t sick or under the weather.  I also hope that I haven’t done anything to make you mad or upset with me.  If I have then I am sorry, for anything that I may have done that has upset you.  I only try to think of your feelings and if I have hurt them I want you to know that this was the last thing on my mind.

DEPOSITION FORM                                                         Page 3

Subject:  continued (my love for my wife)

To:  The most loveable wife in the world

From:  The Hubby

Date:  05  September 1971

I love you too much for me to do anything that would hurt you and you of all people should know this and understand.

Hey Honey, I just realized that two days ago was my Dad’s birthday.  I did not even get a card or write.  This really makes me feel low.  I did not even know it was September until I found out today I had CQ.  Time means nothing except for the days.  I never know what day of the week it is or anything.

I hope you mentioned to him on his birthday that I wished him a Happy Birthday.  Gosh, I really feel bad. The only dates I remember is your birthday, my birthday and May the 8th.  Other than that the days are just one of a number that has to pass before I see you again.  Please tell him that I am sorry and I just plain forgot.  I will try and explain to him when I get a chance to write them.

Hey, could you send me our old Kodak?  I would like to get some pictures over here before I left.  Another thing I need is a picture of you.  A recent one that shows your (mine) long hair.  I found another picture frame and all I need is another picture.  So, if you could, please send me one.

Well, I’ve just been rattling on, haven’t I?  Well, I guess I had better close for now and get back to CQing.  I have just one more favor to ask.  Could you, pretty, pretty please with sugar on it send me a tape?????????  I would just love to hear your voice.

Well, I guess I had better close.  God bless you my love and keep watch over you for me.  YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU!!!!

All my love now and forever,

Frank

P.S.  I love you and miss you!

That was such a fun letter from Frank.  He was worried about being so open to me in his letter from September 3rd.  I think Frank was afraid that he had let me see weakness in him and was afraid it would turn me away or cause me to love him less.

What Frank did not know was that his total openness in showing me his weaknesses only endeared him to my heart more deeply.  I loved this man and I knew this man’s heart and soul.  What he had really done by opening up this deeply, was let me in past his feelings of manhood into his real fears and insecurities making us deeper into being one soul.

In the next letter, Frank solves the mystery of the extra slow mail.

September 07, 1971

Dear Nancy,

Hello Darling,  I hope this day finds you well, happy, and cool.  It’s hotter here than 14 stoves.  Pretty hot, huh? Well, it was 114° at 10:00 am this morning and God knows what now.

I got two letters from you today, one from Gram and one from the Okie (Okinawan)Credit Union.  I hit the jackpot, didn’t I? You’ll have to excuse my writing because I’m writing with not support and I’m trying to catch my sweat before it gets on the paper.

Your two letters today really perked me up and made me happy.  You’re great, you know it?  you can take me when I’m in the worst mood and make me happy and smiling.  You’re just too good to me.  I only hope I can repay you for all the joy you have given me.

You mentioned being mad at yourself for worrying about my not writing.  Don’t be.  I worry when I don’t hear from you.  It’s just natural. I’ll explain why it probably took so long.  The V.C. had the only road out of here.  We couldn’t get any supplies or anything.  Once and a while a truck got out and in but for about a couple of weeks, it was pretty shakey. 

I didn’t want to tell you cause it would, I felt, worry you too much and you had enough worries of your own. The situation has been relieved and everything is ok now.  So maybe this will explain why it was a long time before you heard from me.  OK? OK. 

As far as making a fool of yourself in my eyes, bull.  Could I make a fool of myself in your eyes?  I hope not.  Whatever you do or say, you have a reason for doing so and I think I’m mature enough to understand it or try to anyway.

You ask if I wanted you to go back to work or not?  Well, you seem to me that you’re looking for me to make a decision.  Well, first off, I don’t know enough about it?  Are you bored?  Do you want to work?  Are you happy not working?  Is the time passing slow not working?

I’ll give you my opinion.  I don’t want you to work if you don’t want to.  The most important thing is your happiness.  You want to get these tests run and I feel that this is more important than a job  If, I was there and could see how you felt I would say, “No, you’re not going to work”.  I don’t want to say no if you really want to work. So, I’ll say no and you take it from there.  If you really and I mean really want to do it, do it.  Alright?  Alright.  You see, I’m behind you in anything you want to do.

Hey, nut.  Yea, you.  I think you’re crazy but that only means that you’re like me, so fine.  We’ll go bananas together.  HA! HA!  You asked what else could I expect from a perfect wife?  Well, I expect you to get over here in two more days.  A perfect wife fulfills all her husband’s needs and you haven’t fulfilled my needs for about a month and a half.  So, if you want to keep that perfect wife rating then you’d better hurry up or I’ll demote you to a near perfect wife.  HA! HA!

I guess you couldn’t tell I miss you, now, could you?  You said you were going to iron tomorrow.  Well, I’d almost be willing to bet a month’s pay that you didn’t make it.  Be honest. HA!

You said don’t be surprised if you pop into my dreams.  What’s keeping you?  I’m more than ready for you.  I love you!!  And I will be here waiting for you!!!  Well, soon we will unleash all of our pent-up desires for each other and we’ll probably heat up the whole town of San Francisco.  HA! HA!

In about a week we’ll only have four months or less left.  I say less because about November the 1st, if I haven’t heard anything about Christmas drops, then this kid is going all the way to the top just screaming and hollering all the way.  So keep your fingers crossed.

Hey, I’d better close because this is getting to be a book.  So, I’ll say adios and I’ll see you about 10:00 pm in my dreams.  You’d better show up or I’ll have to fly into your dreams and I have to be back by 2:30 am.  HA! HA!

Seriously, Nancy, I love you with all my heart and soul.  Please take care of yourself and keep loving me.  God bless you, my love.

All my Love forever,

Frank

P.S.  10:00 pm sharp now.  I’ll even shave my face for you.  HA! HA!  I LOVE YOU, LOU!

Finally, we were back to having fun and kidding with each other in our letters.  It was so good to be receiving letters in a more timely way.  Frank knew that I disliked ironing but did it one item at a time, as needed.

Frank knew I was faithfully writing and I knew he was too.  Letters were our only way to communicate.  I can not imagine how hard it was back hundreds of years before the Vietnam War.

Frank is still upbeat in his next letter.

September 10, 1971

Dear Nancy,

Well, how’s my wife today.  I almost said lover but I don’t think that would be the correct term.  After all to be lovers you have to sleep together and I don’t know if you’ve noticed it, but lately, we haven’t exactly been sleeping together for a while now.  I’ve noticed it.  HA!

I guess you can tell that I’m a little crazy tonight.  Well, it’s better than being depressed and upset.  So, I’m looney!  

Well, I’m back.  Didn’t even know I left, did you?  Well, I did for about thirty minutes.  It was my turn to make the beer run.  So, I’m back Big Deal, huh?  Well, anyway, here I am.  Ya, miss me?

My nose is running like a fire hydrant.  I think I’m allergic to Vietnam.  As a member of the medical profession, I prescribe a long rest in a dry climate like Texas, plenty of good food, and lots of bodacious, wonderful, good loving. 

I know that in Van Vleck they have a rest home for weary soldiers that have freckles and beer guts.  It’s run by a good looking, sexy, love-starved woman.  So, would you mind making me a reservation?

Honey, it’s getting dark and as old and feeble as my eyes are I can’t see in the dark.  So, I’ll have to say goodnight and take care of yourself.  Because I’m going to be there for that reservation soon. 

God bless you, Nancy and I pray for him to take care of you because you’re everything to me and my existence depends on you.

All my Love for You Forever,

Frank

Frank has told me nearly all that was going on but he has not mentioned one thing that I had not forgotten about.  In his next letter, he will finally write to me and give me an answer to one question I had been asking him.

September 12, 1971

Dear Nancy,

I got four letters from you and it was great.  I love you so much.

Hey, Honey, it may be a while till you hear from me again.  I’ve had serious hemorrhoids for about a month now and today it was just too much to stand.  So tomorrow I’m going on sick-call and getting something done about them. 

I don’t know if they’ll put me in the hospital right away or if I’ll have to wait. So, if they put me in tomorrow it could be a couple of days until one of my buddies can bring me writing paper and such. 

Now it’s nothing to worry about.  I just wanted you to know so you won’t worry if you don’t hear from me for a couple of days.  OK? OK!

I read in your letter that you were at your Grandmother’s house.  How is she?  Tell her, I said “Hi” and save me some of those pecans.

Honey, I hope you’re alright.  I worry about you so much.  I want to make you very happy when I get out.  You’ve suffered enough and now it’s time for us to be happy and enjoy each other.

You mentioned that drive to your Grandmother’s house and how we talk.  I really did enjoy that maybe the most and I’m glad we both share the same interests and like doing the same things.

I’m lonely, Nancy.  But soon I won’t be.  We’ll talk for hours and hours.

Honey, I have to go and eat before they quit feeding.  God bless you, my love.  I love you with all my heart and I always will.

All my Love for You,

Frank

While Frank was home on leave, we had driven to my Grandmother’s house which is a six-hour drive from Van Vleck.  We took our time driving, stopping along the way for a picnic and really talked to each other.  We made many plans on that car trip for our future when Frank got out of the Army.  We shared our thoughts and dreams with each other.  We had really missed these talks with each other.

Finally Frank had told me what was actually going on with his health.  Was I worried?  You bet I was but all I could do was wait until I heard from him again.

If you remember back to before Frank went to Vietnam, he volunteered to go to Vietnam, so others with small children and pregnant wives would not have to go.

Frank was not a “Fortunate Son”  nor did he ever ask to be, even with migraines and bleeding hemorrhoids, he would stay till his time to come home.  Frank was an honorable man and always did the right thing.

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4 Comments

  1. Frank Henderson was a Man’s Man all the way. His ability to LOVE and express that Love unabashedly is fantastic.
    I hope many young men and women will read these letters and learn you don’t have to be a Viagra Guy to be a Man

    • Thank you so much Chuck. Being a Man’a Man is truly being sure of yourself enough to openly love and openly express emotions without fear of doing so. Frank did not fear telling me how much he loved me or telling me about his emotions.
      Knowing his heart and soul so deeply totally molded my heart and soul to him for an eternity.
      His stregth as a real Man was his openness of his heart and soul.
      No way Viagra or Cialis can achieve manhood.
      Thank you for realizing and seeing in Frank who he really was.
      God Bless You,
      Love,
      Nancy

  2. More revealing letters. It must have been really difficult for Frank to keep on working with those hemorrhoids. That takes determined stamina. I’m glad he decided to get help. I find myself doing the countdown thing to when he would come home. 🙂 God bless.

    • Thank you for helping me countdown. I feel myself back in time doing the very same thing. Frank always hated going to the doctor. I can count on one hand how many times he actually did.
      He was very tough with pain but this was too much.
      Thank you so much for reading and commenting.
      I am waiting anxiously for your new books to come out. I am so Happy for you. You were given a Beautiful talent by God to inspire others through your writing. You are so Blessed by God.
      Love,
      Nancy

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