Posts by elyse

Some Assembly Required, Really?

Posted by in The Widow's Blog | 2 comments

Some Assembly Required, Really?

What does the word “some” mean?  Unknown or unspecified?  Evidently, “some assembly required” has changed since I last put something together. Maybe I expect too much or don’t understand how it all works.  Why would you ship a product in a box that is big enough for it to be fully assembled, if it needs to be put together?  Just shove those pieces in a smaller box! The picture of the play kitchen I ordered looked like a “one-piecer” to me.  Dang thangy is made of plastic, just make a mold big enough for the whole “shebang” and pour in the...

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Why You Can’t Take Me Anywhere

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Why You Can’t Take Me Anywhere

Anyone who knows me knows that I see the humor in everything and maybe laugh out loud when it shouldn’t happen. Sometimes, I don’t start out trying to be funny but then it just happens. A couple of days ago, it happened, not just once but every time a thought came into my head and believe me, thoughts don’t just happen there very often. Okay, my brother-in-law and his wife invited me to take a trip up the country to attend a funeral.  Bless their hearts, they had no idea what they were in for.  Normally, they share a quiet ride together when they take road trips, but this...

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My Bubble Wrapped Tree

Posted by in The Widow's Blog | 8 comments

My Bubble Wrapped Tree

Well now, I bought a new Artificial Christmas Tree this year and it arrived today. The last two years I have had a chopped down real Christmas tree. The artificial tree I had before the last two years, I purchased many years ago and it was absolutely Beautiful. Meanwhile back to the arrival of my new tree.  UPS Dude skid to a stop in front of my house a few hours ago but before I could get to the door from the couch, probably four steps, the Dude set the tree box down in front of my clear glass storm door then literally ran back to the UPS truck. Fat chance he was gonna help me carry it into...

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My Mr. Christmas

Posted by in The Widow's Blog | 4 comments

My Mr. Christmas

At Thanksgiving each year, memories flood into my mind of the beautiful man I call, Mr. Christmas. My Mr. Christmas was a special person all year long but from Thanksgiving Day until  New Year’s  Eve Day, he was a shining light in more ways than you can imagine.  Let’s just say that the character Clark, played by Chevy Chase, in Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation could have been cloned from my Mr. Christmas. Mr. Christmas spent hours drawing up a diagram of where he wanted to place lights on the outside of our home.  The lights were the big old-timey multicolored on green wire...

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New Landline Phone

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New Landline Phone

What do I have on my mind? >Well, it could have something to do with wanting to absolutely walk outside and toss the new home landline phone handsets into the road then watch a car run over them.  Oops! See, I do have the patience to watch them get shattered but not the patience to set them up.  After all, I have been setting up the old landline phone for at least ten years. Why don’t they make these things like cellphones where you touch ’em to each other like they’re mating then all of the info transfers?   Is there a problem with that technology?  Surely some two-year-old out there knows...

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