Writing a True Love Memoir

Posted in Blog | 9 comments

When you are writing a Memoir about a true love shared with your soulmate, it can be the most beautiful experience but it can be heartbreaking at times.

Frank and I married at age eighteen.  We were married for nearly twenty-nine years when suddenly he was struck ill and died within six days of that illness at the age of forty-seven.

While writing our love story and remembering the fun times we had together, I enter into a time machine going back to that period.   Actually, I see us together as if a spectator.  Actually, the best way I can describe this would be to compare it to the same experience anyone would have watching a movie in a theater.  The only difference would be that the movie reels are playing out scenes from your life in front of you. This is an amazing experience.

I have been a widow for twenty-one years and I grieved the loss of my husband which shattered my heart and then God pieced it back together.  Of course, on occasions that were special to us, I have always been confronted with tears and reminded of my loss.

Grief is always on the back burner of our minds but can be brought to the surface by our different senses then that fire of grief will surface to again break your heart, bring you to your knees in tears.  This has happened to me many times in the last twenty-one years as Frank’s widow and God has always heard my cries then comforted me.

As I write this Memoir, look at pictures, reread letters, look at memorabilia and type chapters on my website, Frank is always present in my mind.  I feel him surround me while typing and he comes to me in my dreams.  This is all beautiful and comforting but having him on my mind constantly has made me miss seeing him in person, feeling his physical touch and being able to actually touch him.

I have read an article that we can all overcome grief.  I’m sorry but there are all kinds of grief.  We can not label the different kinds together as just grief.  When Frank died, I witnessed all kinds of grief around me:  the loss of a child, the loss of a brother, the loss of a father, the loss of a Grandfather, the loss of a nephew, the loss of a cousin, and the loss of a friend.  All of these kinds of grief are different and they can not be put under one title.  My grief was for the loss of a soulmate who was my spouse that I shared one heart and soul with.

In this post, I am trying to let you know how it is to write a True Love Story Memoir as it feels to a widow who has lost her soulmate.   Frank is by my side now but in a different dimension from me but I feel him all around me.  God has allowed this.  Writing this book with Frank still alive and physically by my side would be quite different.

As an example, last night I had a beautiful dream about Frank and when I woke up this morning I felt him holding me.  I laid there unmoving for awhile feeling his embrace.  Finally, I got out of bed and went to fix the coffee.  While drinking a cup of coffee, I did a little Facebook time and felt really great then out of nowhere, tears were falling from my eyes as the fire of grief suddenly ignited within me.   This was totally unexpected by me and came without warning.

When I wrote the original Manuscript this happened also, but I knew the warning signs of when to take a day off and walk away from the computer then let something else consume my mind.   There was no warning this time.  So, after God answered my prayer, pulled me up from my knees, glued my broken heart back together while drying my tears, I decided to do something different by going straight to the computer to write this blog.  I think it is important to God for me to tell you all some of what I experience while writing this Memoir by being totally open to you of the reality of what occurs.

I could just say this is so much fun and easy to do and at times it really is but that would only be a partial truth.  I have a strong faith in God and His purpose for what I am writing, so I know He will keep me strong on this journey He has put me on.  I am a strong woman and sharing this is not easy.

Other Authors experience these moments too.  It might not be for the same reasons but for the reality of what they write.

As for how to overcome Grief?  I do not have the answer to that.  Grief can be controlled but it can suddenly surprise you but God will reach out His hand to comfort you.

I guess what I am really saying is “that I had a bad day” but here I sit at this computer facing up to it!  You betcha!





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  1. Good for you, girl! I can understand how difficult it must be for you at times, but you never wallow in self-pity because of it, and I admire that in you. And you can always find humor in situations that otherwise might devastate you. And the Lord will sustain you, and carry you when you need that, through anything you have to face in life. That is so comforting, isn’t it? He never let’s us down or leaves us on our own. God bless you.

    • Thank you, Diane. God has never let me down and He has sent Beautiful friends in my life to encourage me. You are definitely one of those friends. Your writings encourage me on so many levels.
      God Bless You!

  2. Thank you, Nancy. It is a privilege to be your friend. I am so happy to be able to encourage even one person with my writing, and am very happy that you are one. God bless you. Love you. Keep up the good work.

    • Believe me, your writing will encourage so many people. You have such a beautiful unjudgemental way of writing God’s truths. God has Blessed you, my friend.

  3. I am so very thankful to have found your blog! I am a new widow of two weeks but I have experienced grief for years as I have watched my husband slowly disappear from me because of a brain disease. He is my soulmate and I do feel his presence encouraging me each day. Thank you for sharing your life. ❤️

    • Thank you, Judy, for your comment and sharing a part of your story. You will always feel him by your side,
      Soulmate love is eternal, and you will be united with him again.
      God Bless You.

    • Judy, if you ever want to talk, I am here for you. Sometimes it is nice to talk to someone who has been where you have been and shares the same kind of loss. Grief has so many faces, the loss of a child, parent, friend, brother, sister, etc. We share the face of grief from the loss of a spouse.
      I am here for you.

  4. You are a true gift. Sharing wonderful information. I am slowly adjusting to being a widower. The emptiness is tougher than I had imagined

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