Thoughts On Weddings, DIY Widow

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What Is Really Important?

As I am typing a new chapter called, Going to the Chapel, about my own Wedding which can be found on this website under Love Letters from the Heart,  I began wondering just what is really the most important thing about anyone’s Wedding?  So, I decided it was time to write a blog about it.

I understand that everyone wants to have a very special and memorable wedding but to what extent and cost.  Does the Bride’s Dad and Mom or the Groom’s Dad and Mom have to go broke?  What if a couple is paying for their own Wedding,  are they to start their married life in debt?

Having owned a Florist Business for several years, I had the opportunity to work with many ‘soon to be’ Brides and Grooms.

In my office at the Florist, there were many books of different styles of bouquets for the Brides and Bridesmaids, boutonnieres for the Groom and Groomsmen, and corsages for whomever.

There were also many books of different kinds of flowers from all over the world that could be ordered from my wholesaler.  Also, I had rentals which consisted of candelabras with candles, archways, yards of tulle, vases, column pedestals, and pew bow setups.  Sometimes we would actually make different kinds of unusual things if a bride wanted it.

When talking to a Bride and Groom about their wedding I would try to get them to remember what was really important that Special Day by reminding them that the most important things were their vows and the total commitments that they would be making to each other that day and that all of the rest was trivial, expensive, and main!y for pictures.

I encouraged the Bride and Groom to choose flowers that looked the same but would cost less.  Why would I do that?  Mainly because in business as in life your reputation precedes you. I could not in good consciousness try to push anyone to waste their money.

I believe it is very important to guide people in the right direction which has nothing to do with “keeping up with the Jones” or overspending.

Anyway back to what is important at a Wedding.

Let’s talk about that expensive Wedding Dress.  Why spend so much money?  Is a Bride planning on wearing that dress again?  Probably not, unless she thinks she can squeeze back into it on her Fiftieth Wedding Anniversary to repeat her vowels with her husband.  Believe me, that would be a rare occasion. Hand me down, maybe but styles change.

The real point I am trying to make here is a simple one, getting married is about becoming one and committing to each other for life.  There are not any shortcuts in a marriage, only by giving of yourself completely, blending together by adjusting to each other, truly loving each other, learning to forgive each other, and depending on each other, can you be brought to a place of becoming one heart and soul.

All of the “pomp and circumstance” in the world can not make this happen but true love for each other can.  Flowers, cakes, receptions, dresses, tuxedos, wedding venues, and parties do not have to cost a fortune and some of it is not really necessary.

The most important thing you will do on your Wedding Day is to say your vows to each other.

I would love your thoughts on my thoughts.


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  1. Agree with you Nancy, seems ridiculous to take on debt to create a social spectacle when the money spent could be used to start the couple off on a firm financial foundation.

    Expensive weddings are no guarantee for successful, happy marriages, in fact there may well be an inverse correlation.

    • Thank you Peter. I think that the main purpose of it all is the Beautiful vows said to each other of commitment, devotion, and love. Marriage is not an easy thing but one of the most Beautiful gifts and total sacrifices a couple makes to one another. It is much to easy now a days to give up.
      God Bless you and thank you again for your comment.

  2. It was “a necessity” for us to be frugal regarding Wedding Costs. Had all the money tied up in new 300 acres of Wheat and harvest was a couple months off.
    Pit-roasted a couple of our 100# pigs, Shirley, sisters and her mother made 100# Potato and Macaroni salad and a close friend “donated” his Country Western Band.
    109 degrees in the shade and everyone had Fun.
    We lived off a major highway and people (strangers) just stopped by to see what was going on. One fellow was dancing with Shirley and asked “who got married”
    Our children followed suit and had beautiful wedding focused on the promise and went down a frugal path.
    Thanks for sharing this post and I hope younger people will take to heart

    • Thank you, Chuck. I love your share about your and Shirley’s Wedding. What a Beautiful Wedding in an Amazing Setting! Your description of your Wedding Day, lets me see it all in my mind. A lot of hard work went into your wedding which you all shared lovingly with others. The use of the resources you had and your hard work not only kept the cost down but also made your memories of your Wedding Day so Special.
      Your children have such great examples instilled in them by you and Shirley. I am so glad they chose to follow your examples.
      My prayer is for all generations to know that the vows of matrimony and commitment should be the focus of their Wedding Day which should be shared with friends and family at a reasonable cost.
      God Bless you,

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