The Longest Hair

Frank had been in a good mood until receiving my letter which had been delayed in the mail.

With mail delivery so mixed up at times, it was very hard for us to communicate but even with normal ten-day delays in receiving letters, our moods would already have changed by the time we got another letter. We just never knew what to expect in a letter but we learned to work at holding back our reactions to a five-day-old letter.

In the next letter, Frank was a little down and he gets a little rebellious.

May 29, 1971

Dear Nancy,

Hi Darling. How are you today? I hope you’re well and in love with me. I love you but you know that, don’t you? Well, if you had any doubts wash them away cause baby, I love you more than anything else in this miserable world.

I want to just pour out my heart to you but I can’t on this paper. I’m pretty depressed today but I don’t know why. I got a letter from you today, in fact, two and one from your folks and one from mine. They were all good letters and should have cheered me up but I don’t know. I guess I’m just in one of those moods. I’ll be out of it soon, I’m sure. I know you understand how easy it is to get depressed. So forgive me for being this way today but I’m trying to fight it so please understand.

Hey, you ought to be proud of your hubby. He has the longest hair and the longest sideburns around. In fact, the Comand Sargent Major himself begged on me yesterday and told me to get a haircut today. Well, I still have the longest hair cause I didn’t get one and won’t till I feel like it. So there! People on my trick are putting bets on when they’ll make me get it cut. Something to do I guess.

Listen, young lady, if you don’t stay out of my dreams you’re going to get in trouble. If you come in smiling and come over and hold me one more time, I won’t be responsible for what happens. They are wonderful dreams Nancy, but it’s pure hell to wake up and look around and find you not there.

I love you so very much Nancy. Honey, I got to close for now. I just can’t write anymore. I’m sorry. Take care of yourself and be good for me. I pray for your safety and well being every night.

All my Love for you, Nancy.

Frank

P.S. I LOVE YOU, NANCY !!!

Frank was not wanting to be told what to do anymore, so he is rebelling a little but I knew that he would not get in any serious trouble over a haircut or at least I prayed he would not.

Now, Frank and I have been separated for five months. We were beginning to figure out how to face the days without seeing each other. The cassette tapes made a big difference.

Just to actually hear Frank’s voice was breathtaking, warmed my heart and brought tears to my eyes.

Frank mentioned in his letter in the last chapter how good it was to hear, “I love you”, and it was truly wonderful for me to hear him say those three words on a cassette tape. Only three little words but with the deepest meaning. Truly the most beautiful words in the world.

When Frank left Van Vleck to go to Okinawa before his direct transfer to Vietnam, he had turned around in San Antonio, Texas then come back for twelve more hours. When he left the second time to fly to Okinawa he had to use a TR (transfer request voucher which would come out of his future pay) for his ticket which would eventually come out of his pay.

It would take the Army a five months to catch up but they eventually did, so…

May 31, 1971

Dear Nancy,

How’s my beautiful wife today? I hope you’re fine and are thinking of me. I love you so much, Darling. We got paid today and guess what? I got my over three years pay and guess what else? They finally caught my TR from San Antonio. So, I got paid a whopping big $181. (This should have been about $600 or more with back pay from the date Frank became a Sp/5)

Not bad for working thirty days out of thirty-one with only one day off and living like an animal. Sometimes I get so pissed off at this damn Army. It says on my pay voucher “Due U.S”. Hell, they owe me more than they could ever repay. How can they pay us back for a year of loneliness and separation? How can they return four wasted years of my life? How can they repay us the hardships and the having to live like peons?

So for spending four years of my life and three of those years overseas to serve my country because I believe in our country, they repay me by making me pay my way to Vietnam. Pay for the privilege of fighting for your country. I’m sorry I’m carrying on so but damn it, it just irks me to no end the way this organization is run. What can I say? FTA!!!!!

I don’t know how much I’ll be able to send home this month. I’ll have to sit down and figure it out. Are you alright as for as money is concerned? You got enough for everything? I should start pulling in about $400 a month. A Sp/5 over three years makes pretty good money, I hear.

Hey, if you got any pull how about getting the Army to send us some nugs (new guys). Everyone is leaving and no one is coming to replace them. Tomorrow we start 12 & 12 from 3:00 am in the morning until 3:00 pm in the afternoon.

Hey, today we only got 229 DLITA. By the end of next month, we’ll only have less than 200 days. We’re getting there.

Got you wondering about your surprise much? I hope so cause I think it’ll really please you. At least, I hope so.

Honey is everything ok? Truthfully now. You alright? I worry so much about you. Please, take care of yourself because you’re all I have. You know how I feel and how I worry, so please take care of yourself for me, please.

I love you so much and I need you so much more than I ever have before. Honey, I have to close now. Be good and take care of yourself, my love. God is watching over you because he knows how much you mean to me.

All My Love Forever,

Frank

Well, Frank was not happy about the TR but he knew that it would eventually catch up with him. Frank had to get the TR because he could not catch a military hop back to Okinawa.

Frank now had the longest hair and the least amount of money for the month as a soldier but he was happy in this next letter.

As a matter of fact, Frank was being extremely humorous in this next letter. I hope you will read it with an open mind and remember we had been married for three years. I have edited a few words and left out one sentence because it was only for my eyes.

I have included this letter because it really shows Frank’s humor and mischievousness.

After receiving and pulling the letter out of the envelope, I knew that the next letter was upbeat and fun. On the folded letter Frank had written, “Hi, You Beautiful Sexy Wife of Mine”.

June 2, 1971

Dear Nancy,

It’s June already. How about that? My how the time flies when you’re having fun. HA! That’s really a big laugh. Time is really going to fly when I get home. Hell, we’ll be thirty before you know it. HA!

I’m in a happy mood today. Strange isn’t it? Well, I am and you want to know why? I’m going to tell you anyway. Woman, I love you as no other person could ever love anything. How about them apples. I hope you like them cause if you do, I’ll bring you bushels and bushels of them.

Honey, I got this problem. I come to you cause only you can help me with this. I hope you’ll understand and try and help me over it. I need your help. I’m sorry if it bothers you or upsets you but I can’t keep it inside any longer and I feel that you, most of all, should know because I need your help. The problem is that I’m extremely horny!!

Do you think you could offer me a little help? Your contributions would be greatly appreciated. Boy, are we gonna make that old bed squeak when I get there. Unless of course, you think we should sleep in twin beds. If you do it’ll be awful crowded cause I’ll just throw one of them away. I want to feel you curl around me and sleep. I want to reach out and feel you there beside me… Down Boy! This type of conversation isn’t exactly helping my sex problem.

Matter of fact tonight, I’m going to make a midnight swim and I’ll meet you at Sargent Beach at 1:00 pm… I’ve got to hurry though cause I have to go to work by 3:00 am in the morning. If I could use my pent-up sex energy I could make it easily.

Well, the funnyman has left and here comes a serious one. Watch him closely because he’ll talk real sweet to you but don’t be fooled by his sweet words because he probably only wants to get “really” close to you. I do! I do! I do! More than that I want to get into your heart and mind.

If I could I’d tell you over and over again how much I love you. Nancy, if you can endure this period of loneliness, I promise you that you’ll never be lonely again. That’s all I can do. All, I can do is promise you all these things. You have to have faith in me and believe in me. Now all I can do is tell you, I love you and pray to God that you do believe in me.

If you want any kind of proof of my love let me know. I’ll do anything in the world to prove to you that my love is for real and that it’s true. I’ve never been unfaithful to you and I never intend to be. Simply because I love you and I have all of life I need by having you. I want for nothing else.

Well, I’d better close for now. Three o’clock comes awful early. So please take care of yourself and just keep loving me as you always.

Your love forever,

Frank

P.S. There had better not be any fleas in our bed when I get there. HA! HA!

After receiving the above letter and reading it, I felt very happy because I knew that Frank was not depressed and being his humorous self again. He wrote it to make me laugh and smile which it did. I really needed to know that he was happy some days while he was in Vietnam.

As for as fleas in our bed, no all of our animals had flea collars and he knew that. I hated fleas and Frank knew that too. Also, he knew my heart for taking in stray animals then finding them homes but just for fun, I did let him think I was keeping them all.

I did not receive a letter from Frank for a few days then this one came. Something seems to be upsetting him.

June 5, 1971

Dear Nancy,

How are you today lover? I hope fine. It’s been two days since I’ve written, so I figured that it was about time I got the old pen loosened up again.

Before I go any further, let me say that I’m not in the best of moods tonight and haven’t been for the past two days. I’ll try to explain it to you so that you’ll understand more about me or so you’ll know why I get depressed a lot over here.

Well, there’s not a whole lot to do over here at night. I’ve read about 200 books so far. Some nights we can’t get a movie so all that’s left to do is go to the club and my stomach can’t take it anymore. My system is messed up and I can’t seem to get it straight.

I want to see you and come home so badly. I’ve got to be practical and not let my emotions lead me. You want me to come home or take an R&R and I want to so very much too but I’m trying to think of the future and my responsibilities. All in all my nerves are about shot and every little thing really gets me uptight. Wow, if anything else happens, I think I’ll start tearing heads off.

I’m sorry if I burden you with my worries but you’re the only one I can turn to and talk it out. Even if it’s on this crummy paper, I know you’ll understand. You won’t pity me but you’ll try and understand me. I don’t want this type of letters to depress you, I just want you to understand sometimes how I feel and why maybe I won’t write for a couple of days.

Right now, I already feel somewhat better because I’ve gotten it off my chest. Honey, at times I just have to let it out. It gets to be just too much for me. I’m sorry if you’re on the receiving end of my moods and temperaments. I’ll just be glad when all this is over and I can once again see you and never need to feel all these things again. I know you will be glad too that I won’t be pouring out all my problems to you and you can relax.

This whole thing is not fair to you because you’re a woman. A man is expected to have to sacrifice and take things. Women are to be protected from harm and hurt by their husbands. The husbands are supposed to take the force of these things and in doing this they protect their wives.

Hell, I’m sure feeling sorry for us both tonight, aren’t I? I’m kind of mixed up right now. But as usual, I’ll get my mind straight sooner or later. I know the sooner the better.

Well, all I can say is, Baby, you’re going to have a dazed, happy, and confused man on your hands when I get there. I’ll be so confused because of how happy I’ll be. It’ll seem so unreal. Oh, Honey, I love you so much. I can’t wait to get home to you. Why do good things always take waiting for? I guess I’m greedy. I want them now and by them I mean you.

You’re what life is made of for me. I love you more now than this pen can say. Don’t worry about my depressed state cause it’ll pass and I’ll be happy once again. So just take care of yourself and when things get bad just think of me and how I’m going to make things alright again when I get to you.

God bless you and take care of you while I’m away.

All My love for You,

Frank

P.S. Let’s see a smile. Thank you.

The above letter really shows how in a matter of a few short days that Frank’s mood could change. He really could not talk about his feelings to the guys around him. Frank was the type of man that was a leader among those around him, so any weakness or depression he felt he would not allow to be shown to them.

The only persons Frank and I would talk about our deepest feelings with were each other. This really shows the great love and trust that we had in each other.

Some men would think this unmanly but actually, I think it is the manliest thing I have ever known. To have your husband talk to you with a total openness, is so Beautiful.

Frank and I openly confided in each other and we did not judge each other but tried to help each other work through our feelings. Our marriage was strong because of our total willingness to talk to each other and our total openness with each other.

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4 Comments

KB Schaller October 18, 2018

Thank you for sharing your letters. Each is so honest and open. I think it is beautiful that two people in love can share their ups and downs. It proves only that one is human. I’m sure these letters from your beloved Frank sometimes stir deep emotions in you of the times when you were apart, and when you were eventually together again as well.

I think it was very healthy as well as manly that he shared his anger, depression, and yes, sometimes rebellion while in the armed services. It is not a natural state for any person, and to adjust to it from day to day must have been a great struggle for him at times. Thanks again for sharing you deeply personal journey. —-KiKi

Reply
- Nancy Henderson October 18, 2018
  
  Thank you so much for reading and commenting KiKi. Frank’s moods could shift so quickly while he was in Vietnam. He was never a moody person except then. I was so glad that we could write to each other and express our feelings openly. Frank worried so much about me being alone without him to protect me from harm. Of course, I worried about him being in a safe place. Frank had been in the Army nearly three and a half years and he was just sick of being told what to wear and do. They were so confined in the compound where he was with little to do after their twelve-hour shifts.
  God Bless You, KiKi and thank you again.
  Love,
  Nancy
Diane Stephenson October 26, 2018

I just realized that I missed this post. I, too, think it most wonderful that you could be completely open with each other, even on paper. Too many people let things fester inside and that leads to all sorts of problems. I don’t wonder at him being depressed at times considering the atmosphere and situations he was in. But you can see just by reading that the fact that you were totally stable in his life and he knew you were there for him was what kept him from falling into a pit of continual depression. God bless you, Nancy.

Reply
- Nancy Henderson October 26, 2018
  
  Thank you for reading it. You are so right, I was his anchor. I don’t know what others did without a someone at home they could totally talk to.
  God Bless You, Diane.
  Love,
  Nancy