One of Those Days

We all have them, those days that seem to blow our minds with the unbelievable things that happen.

Getting up in the morning, you think the day will be uneventful. Suddenly out of nowhere, you find yourself in some ridiculous twilight zone. Stuff starts happening that you know other people are not going to believe, tell anyone about, or much less write down then share. Of course, if you are a writer of humor, love to laugh at yourself, you’re going to write about it. So here I sit at the computer telling about my twilight zone day.

The day started reasonably well. It was a definite plus getting out of bed and not nearly breaking my neck, having to run to the bathroom. Feeling relieved about that, I made the coffee then pushed the button that makes the coffee pot brew. While the coffee brewed, I went to the back door to go outside, let my dog out of the garage then give him food and water. When I opened the back door, there sat my dog on the back porch. What?

Right here, I should mention that my dog is a digger. He digs holes, but not just holes, these craters go nearly to China. Back in the summer, I fenced off a section of my yard just for my dog to have a private space then paid lots of money to have the holes in my back yard filled with sand. He has a dog house in this fenced-in area. When it is raining or cold at night, I have a heat lamp and bed for him in the workshop part of the garage. During the day when it rains, and I let him out of his space to go into the workshop, but keeping the door open, I am constantly checking to see if he is digging. If for any reason, I have to leave to go somewhere, he goes into the workshop with the door closed until I get home.

Well now, imagine my surprise when I opened that back door to see him sitting on my back porch! Immediately, I looked to his favorite dig site, and there it was the beginning of a crater to China with the added beauty of wet dirt thrown all over the sidewalk and white siding on the garage. Dag-nabit! Oh my goodness, I hadn’t even had a cup of coffee yet! How in the world had he gotten out of the garage? Of course, I already knew he was a Houdini because he had opened the chainlink fence gate to his space a few times, and I caught him using his nose to lift the catch. Did he use his mouth to turn the doorknob to the workshop? Who knows, but I decided to worry about that and fill the China crater after coffee. I put Mr. Crater Digger Houdini into his space with plenty of food and water to drink, then went back into the house.

The perking coffee smelled fantastic as I walked into the house. I could not wait to have a cup. Once entering the kitchen, I saw there was coffee on the counter and running down the cabinet to the floor with very little in the coffee pot. What a mess! Did I mention that this woman had not had a cup of coffee yet? Thinking this was number two of three events for the day, I started laughing while cleaning up the mess. While redoing the steps to make coffee in the coffee brewer, I realized the first time the basket did not turn going down in the brewer properly. Funny, when set up correctly, how efficiently the coffee pot worked.

Finally, I sat down on my patio and had my first cup of coffee. After finishing it, I went back inside to take a surprisingly uneventful shower. You never know, one can slip in the shower. My next project for the day was to make a grocery list, run some errands, then go to the grocery store. I was feeling accomplished after running the chores and buying the groceries. Leaving the store, I was listening to music on the radio while driving home in my car. Are you ready for this? Brace yourself. While looking through the front windshield of my car, I saw a lizard on the hood, holding on for dear life! Really? Was he/she there when I left my home? What was this lizard thinking? Of course, I started laughing but then decided to drive as slowly as possible to keep the hitchhiker from flying through the air.

An escaping dog crater, a coffee brewer mishap, and a hitchhiking lizard. Three unbelievable happenings, which, for my way of believing, ended my twilight zone day. I think three is a magic number, and things happen in threes, at least I prayed so that day.