Medicare Paperwork, DIY Widow

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Medicare Paperwork, DIY Widow

My  Doctor’s office called then told me they needed me to make an appointment to fill out some paperwork for Medicare.

Since it had been over a year since having been to the Doctor, I decided to “kill two birds with one stone”, (which is only a saying, I do not kill birds) and made the appointment.

After arriving at the Doctors office and after waiting a short time in the waiting room, my name was called to go back to a private room.  On the way, theLying Scale young lady who was escorting me stopped at the “Lying Weight” scale to get my weight.  I told her, “I do not need to be weighed to fill out paperwork.”

She, in turn, gave me the “rolling-eye -move” which as a Mom,  Grandma, and Great Grandma, I was accustomed to interpreting as total exasperation.

Of course, her eye movement had just given me more fuel for a conversation with her.

This is what I said to her, “This scale lies.  It weighs me ten pounds heavier than my home scale.  Plus, I always weigh in the nude at home.  Can I at least take my shoes off?, then I laughed and got on the scale which did not disappoint me by lying.

Next, I entered the private room with the young lady and she told me she had some questions for me to answer.

Her:  “Repeat this sentence back to me.  John Smith who lives at 34 Manchester went to New Hampshire.”

Me:  “John Smith who lives at 34 Manchester went to New Hampshire.”

Her:  “Not now.  I want you to remember it for later on when I ask you to repeat it.”

Me:  “I really could care less about remembering that. It really is not important to me.”

Oh man, I thought her eyes would not be able to come back to look at me after that eye roll but she looked back at the paper she was reading from then began more questions.

Her:  “Count from twenty backward to one.”

Me:  “You know that is really not how I learned to count but 20, 19, 18, 17,…1”

Her:  “Say the months of the years in order backward.”

Me:  “Hon, I am not sure what they taught “Y’all” in school but we learned them forward.  December, November, October,…January.”

Next came all kinds of questions about depression, sleep habits, eating habits. and many more then she asked me to repeat the John Smith phrase thangy which I did exactly as she had said it to me.  A surprised look came over her face.

Her:  “I thought you didn’t want to remember that?”

Me:  “Just messing with you.”

Her:  “Do you ever get really tired during the day?”

Me: “Yes Ma’am when I have to answer ridiculous unnecessary questions for paperwork.”

Her:  “Medicare is trying to access you to see if you have the beginning signs of Dementia.”

Me:  “Well now, isn’t that just kind of them.  Here’s my business card for you and one for them.  I just learned from scratch how to set up a Website where I am writing a book and blogs.”

Her mouth was now wide open and she looked at me in disbelieve.

Me:  “By the way, how did I do?”

Her:  “Well, you did say December, November, then October.  September comes after November.”

Me:  “Dag-nabit, all of my life I have thought that October came between September and November.  Dang, I am gonna have to learn the new order.”

Suddenly her face turned a little red as she realized she might have made a mistake while she was busy changing what she had written down on my evaluation.

Me:  “Would you please fill out some paperwork for me to get my annual blood tests done now?” then I thanked her and after receiving the paperwork for the blood tests, I exited the room.

I couldn’t help myself and laughed all the way to the front desk to pay my co-pay.

I want you to realize this is just my attempt to be funny but these tests are important to catch Dementia at an early stage.

2 Comments

  1. Love your sense of humor, Nancy. Keep up the good work. I haven’t seen a doctor for at least two years. The last one I had for a relatively short time before he closed up shop for health reasons. Before that, I hadn’t been to a doctor for about a dozen years. I really should get some blood work done so I know just where I stand in that department, but it isn’t easy to find a doctor who takes new patients, and especially one who will work with me with natural products rather than drugs.

    • Diane, I know exactly what you mean. I got lucky a few years ago and found a young Doctor who actually listens and helps. Of course, he is now accustomed to my sense of humor which is great but I still try to shock him sometimes just for fun. Lol.
      You should keep trying to find a good Doctor. They are out there.
      God Bless you and you are always in my prayers.
      Nancy

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