Let’s Talk About Fitbit Again

Posted in The Widow's Blog | 0 comments

Well, I have decided to write about the Fitbit again.  Why?  The Fitbit may be a little more complex and mysterious than the instructions tell us all.

When I bought my Fitbit, it already had a little battery charge. After my Grandson plugged it into the electric socket to get more charge, it charged in what seemed like seconds.   I thought that was pretty cool at the time because most batteried things take a while to charge.

My Fitbit takes my pulse, counts my steps, keeps the time, lets me see text messages scroll across quickly and tells me how far I have walked.  All of that is just great and I have no problem with any of it.

What do I have a problem with?

The dang “shock buzzing” of my arm then running subliminal messages across the black-screen-face of the “thangy”!

The “thangy” does not care if you are right in the middle of trying to type a blog about it, it will buzz you, “Let’s get moving”!  What? Is it vain?  Does it want me to finish the blog about it faster?

Try stopping in the store to talk to someone or, “God please forgive me”, to look at the forbidden candy and cookies, because this will make Fitbit hungry then it will scroll a message that tells you, “Feed me 88 more steps”!

Oh, and God forbid someone text messages you with a really long text,  the “thangy”  will continually “shock buzz” you as long as they are typing.  Please, I am begging you to remember that if you are my true friend, use only text slang.

Something else, Fitbit is supposed to be kept away from water.  Well, after a week or so of its cute Smart-el-ickey Artificial Intelligent messages, I accidentally submerged it into a little water.  Dang thangy hasn’t missed a “shock buzz”!

One other thing, I have purposely not recharged my Fitbit but the battery keeps showing me on that black-screen-face that it has not lost any charge.  Really?  What’s that all about?  Is it drawing energy from me when it “shock buzzes” me?

A friend on Facebook suggested I rip it off my arm, find a bridge over a river then throw it as far as I can into that river.  Well, I thought that was a great


The Fitbit Monster?

ideal but then realized this Fitbit “thangy” might just slither out of that river then come to find me with river-slimy-moss and mud all over it.

After all, I have seen that kinda thing happens in movies, of course, that was just SciFi stuff.

Remember that I told you it displays your pulse, how high do you think that goes up after it “shock buzzes” your wrist a few times every hour?

I hadn’t noticed until tonight, but as I took the Fitbit off of my arm to take a picture of it, it has two round glowing green flickering eyelike “dumaflotchies” under the black screen that actually lies against your wrist.

Green?  Alien Green?  Is this somebody’s idea of a joke or has Artificial Intelligence figured out a way to control us with the Fitbit?

Not sure but for now I will try to keep calm and try to figure out a subliminal way to train my Fitbit “thangy”.  When and if I figure it out I will update you all.  Meanwhile, keep your Fitbit happy.

Stay calm in knowing Nancy Lou is working on a solution to train the “shock-buzzing-thangy”



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