Frank and I had been separated before, ten weeks while he was in Basic Training, two weeks after we married, and three months before I arrived in Okinawa but this separation was different.
The difference in this separation was fear. Fear of losing your soulmate, the person who owned your heart and soul. Frank was in a war zone where anything could happen at any moment. We were both aware of that possibility every moment of every day.
Music was always a big part of our lives. We played music all of the time and knew the words to most of the songs on the radio. The music from the 60s and 70s had a lot of feeling and emotion in it. The words really spoke to us.
You will read more and more in Frank’s letters of the music he listened to and he will quote words of the songs to me.
Dear Lou,
How’s my wife today? I’m kind of depressed today so I may cut this letter short. I got two letters from you today. Baby, you don’t know how much it means to me just to hear from you. You said in one that I sound strange. I’m sorry if I do. If I do it’s because I can’t seem to express how I feel about you.
Hey, guess what I’m hearing now? “She’d Rather be with Me” by the Turtles. Listen to it, it tells you how I feel. It explains exactly how I feel. I miss you so. If I sound strange I hope it’s better than before because I love you more than I did before. You sound bad sometimes too. You know how I feel about you getting depressed and sick.
Nancy, listen to me, please. I’m coming home. You know that. You also know that nothing or no one else ever meant as much to me as you do. I’ve never ever wanted or needed anything in my life as I have wanted and needed you. My love has been proven just as yours has.
A few more months of hardship is cheap. That price will buy us years and an eternity of happiness. It’ll be beautiful. So when you get down, set your sights on the future.
“You Baby” by the turtles is playing now. It’s me all over too. I’m going to squeeze you so hard.
“A little ray of sunshine,
a little bit of soul,
and just a touch of magic,
you got the greatest love this world could know.”
Remember singing that walking in the rain one night at Devens? We’re going to do some more walking in the rain. I want so much to walk or just sit and talk with you. You Know me better than anyone else and you understand how I feel and how I think.
I love you so, Nancy. Good-night my Darling and remember I love you more than this paper can say. I love you.
Your Loving Husband,
Frank
P.S. How many kids????? 16 ?????
The date of the above letter lets me know that the strangeness I was referring to was from the letter he wrote on March 1st, the day Frank tried to quit smoking. By the time I got his letter and wrote him back, the date would have been right on.
The delay in the time it took for letters to get to each other caused a lot of confusion. We did get used to the delay and the changes in emotions from letter to letter but it would take a while. I would look back and reread what Frank had written to me at least ten days before, so I could understand what he was referring to.
Dear Nancy,
How’s every little thing? I don’t know what to say. I feel like talking to you but I don’t know where to begin. Well, let me begin by saying I love you very much and miss you something terrible.
I’m not depressed my Darling. Not today. I haven’t really had time to think about the loneliness I feel. Today all I’ve thought about is how happy we are together and how strong our love is. I know I seem to say about the same thing in all my letters but I say what’s on my mind. Whatever I feel and think of is what I write.
My mind is continually on you, on us, on our love, and on our meeting again. Therefore, that’s what I write about. You just don’t know how much I care for you. You couldn’t know how much I think of you and our home. I call it a home because that’s where you and I live and love.
That little-rented house is all we have in this world. All our sentimental stuff is there. Our love flourished, and I feel grew there. When I talk of home it’s not my folk’s place or yours. My home is a little white house with a Blue Super Beetle in front of it. That’s my home and that’s what I live for.
We enjoyed that house but I was so worried about leaving and you were worried about me and finding a job and so many other things to really get the full value. This next time we’re not running here for supper, there for dinner or there to see so-in-so. If people want to see us this time, they’ll come to see us.
I’m going to sit in our house with my shorts on and enjoy life with you like I always should have. I’ve had my fill of socializing. If we go anywhere it’ll be because we want to not because it’s expected. You know why? Because I enjoy just being with you and you alone, not a bunch of people. I don’t need others. I need only you.
My life is completely filled with only one person and that’s you, Baby. The quiet walks, the times when we laughed together, the times when we worked on something together, even the fights we had. These things I really miss.
Last night, I tried to see your face when you got mad at me. I kind of laughed to myself. Seeing you mad at me and I pictured myself smiling at you and then you rushing into my arms to laugh at our silliness. I can’t think of a single thing that I’ll ever get mad at you about when I get home.
You know our fights and fusses were so stupid. It’s kind of funny we wasted time-fighting. Good times that could have been used for laughing, kissing, or holding each other. But that’s all water under the bridge. I only remember the pleasant things about us.
This separation has given me time to analyze some of the things I used to do. I can see how stupid I was. To tell the truth, I was a dumb ass. But I’ve learned from my mistakes and I won’t make the same ones again. It’s going to be like starting a new life but cheating a little.
We already know so much about each other, yet the slate is wiped clean and all the world lay ahead. It’s there for our taking. We’ve already got love and happiness so we’ve got a pretty good head start. What can stop us? I get all fired up just thinking of it. With you with me, I feel I can take on the whole world and give it a damn good fight.
You make me feel like I’m 15 ft. tall. You’re quite a woman, Nancy. I love you for every little thing you do and say. I’m very proud for you to be my woman and my wife.
Your Loving Husband,
Frank
P.S. See you in 304 days. Say hello to all our useless animals.
When Frank and I had come home from Okinawa it was the end of November. It was such a busy time with so many people to see. We were constantly on the go. Frank was a real people person and so am I but I understand why he says what he says in his letter. We both knew that those could have been precious moments we might never have again.
Remember what I told you about those dimples of Frank’s. Well, he just outed himself big time about how he smiled at me when I was mad at him then I would go running to him. He knew his “Dimple” power over me.
Dear Nancy,
Thank you. Thank you for caring so much. You’re the most beautiful person in the world. I love every inch of you. How can I keep from loving you? You being the way you are I couldn’t stop myself if I wanted to. You’re too good to me.
I got the cookies and tape recorder. I also got the other goodies you sent me. Thanks so very much. I really do appreciate all of it very much. Things like that mean so much to me. It makes me feel not so alone.
I see and feel things you touched or made and it makes me feel close to you. I like that feeling. You really make me proud to have you as my wife. You’re the best wife a man could ever get. I wouldn’t change you in anyway what so ever. I can’t express what I feel.
Nancy, just know that I love you so very much and am really thankful that you’re mine. I’ll make a tape when I get a chance to be alone. I can’t do it when people are around, so I’ll get one to you soon I hope. Yes, I do need batteries and tapes. So if you don’t mind.
Time is passing fairly quickly. But not quick enough. Tomorrow we go into the “200”s. The last three letters I got from you were so good. They really picked me up and I could smile and feel warm all inside. I really need that kind of letters sometimes. You sound happy and not depressed and that’s what I need.
I worry about you so much and when I get a letter like these, I feel more at ease. I know you love me so much that I want to YELL it to everyone. It’s a secure feeling to love and know you’re loved back. It’s great, isn’t it? I’m so happy.
Nancy, I just can’t say, anymore. I’ve got so much to say. I’ve got so much feeling in me now that I can’t start to put it down. I get so happy thinking of you. I’m the happiest person in the world. I love you, my wife.
All My Love to my Wife,
Frank
P.S. My toenails need cutting.
Batteries and tapes? Did I really forget those two things?
Dear Nancy,
Got the batteries and popcorn today. Thanks a lot for sending it. I started a tape to you today at lunch and I’ll keep adding to it when I can be alone and have you to myself. How about sending me one if you get the time? It seems so much more personal to talk to you. I feel as if you’re actually there and I can express myself better.
I’m lying on my bunk with a good old cup of black coffee and writing you. We finished volleyball season and now guess who’s the “star” center fielder of our baseball team. We worked out yesterday and boy am I sore today. I enjoy playing because it kills an afternoon and makes the days seem not to drag by as much.
Darling, I don’t know if you’re tired of hearing this but I miss you something bad. I have so much love for you.
How’s work and everything back home? The animals giving you a hard time?
Almost another month has gone by and that means we’re getting shorter. You know what that means. Whoopee!!!!
Do you need anything? Got enough money? If you need anything get it. I don’t want you doing without.
I love you so much, Nancy. Just know inside that this guy loves you so much that I’d do anything for you. Just ask and I’ll do my darnest for you. Love me is all I ask. That’s all I need.
I’d best close for now so I can make it to work in the morning, so take care and say a prayer for me. Good-night, my wife.
Your Loving Husband,
Frank
P.S. 298 DLITA
P.S.P.S. Be PREPARED!!!!!!
Frank and the guys he worked with on the compound had figured out how to pass some time away playing dirt volleyball and sandlot baseball between their twelve-hour shifts and guard duty. I was glad that they had something to do because it seemed to help with his depression.
We were both coping for awhile which was good.
<<<<< Love Letters from the Heart | Next Chapter >>>>>
Visits: 496
14 Comments
Leave a Reply to Kim Lavoie Cancel reply
Favorite Blogs
Carmen Baca, Author Phantasmagorical & Magical Tales of the Southwest
Chuck Bartok Entrepreneur/Business Marketer/Talk Show Host/Podcaster/Blogger An informational website focused on Growing Your Business regardless of venue.
J. L. Callison, Author Inspirational Writer
James Strauss, Author
Joanne Nesbitt, Author The High Cost of Service: An Expose of PTSD & Agent Orange
Mark M Hanna, Author The Horse Listener
Peter Wright, Author/Blogger
Diane Stephenson, For the Joy of Writing
KB Schaller, Author
MaryRae Rush, Artist
You Can Build It
Amy's Adventures
Sunny J. Reed
I still Marvell at Frank’s willingness to be so open with his emotions and his ability to occupy his time. What of you? How did you cope? What was your support system in his absence?
I worked everyday during the week then in the evenings came home and wrote to him. All of my friends were away at school. His parents and mine were close but I could only confide in him. I barely ate except on weekends at our folk’s homes. It was hard because they were concerned for me and instead of a wife, I became a daughter again which I couldn’t do.
By the end of March I had lost down to 112lbs. I had our two cats and a puppy.
At work I was fine but the nights were terrible. I was so afraid of losing him. I confided in him but realized it upset him so much if I was depressed or crying that I learned to leave that out of my letters. I would fail miserably at times trying to do that as you will see through out these letters.
Frank’s Mom was awesome at coming over and we sewed together making curtains and other things but she never tried to talk to me about Frank because she knew I couldn’t. She just tried to get my mind on other things.
Thank you for your comment Kim and for reading. I hope I’ve made some sense in explaining how I coped.
God Bless You,
Nancy
Beautiful. Like Kim, I am always amazed at not only Frank’s ability but his willingness to pour it all out. He was an amazing man. By the way, I am still not getting e-mail notifications of your posts. I just keep coming to see if there is anything new, and I find 2 new posts. I think I’ll leave the other one for tomorrow as I have to get up at 6:30 in the morning. God bless you.
Thank you so much Diane. He really was truly Amazing. God so Blessed me. Not sure why you are not getting emails. I will try to find out why. Try subscribing again, if you don’t mind.
God Bless You and sweet dreams,
Nancy
I guess I figured as much. I saw the young guys who were so insecure that every letter they received was used as justification to convince themselves that their wife was being unfaithful….poor kids! If the wife said everything was fine that meant they were not needed. If everything was messed up that meant it was omly a matter of time before she was going to find someone else….there seemed (to me) to be precious few who could simply accept that “she” was making due best as she could and was hanging on until deros day. You were a special one who was married to a special one
Thank you, Kim. I could tell how hard it was for Frank to see what was going on around him with other husbands with wives at home and guys with girlfriends at home.
Evidently lists of Dear John letters happening.
Frank knew how much I loved him and I would always be faithful to him but things happening around him messed up his mind plus the loneliness and depression.
He will write then get upset with himself and write letters of apology over and over.
Thank you for reading,commenting, and your Beautiful compliments.
God Bless You
Nancy
Nancy, I just re-subscribed, and the thank you page came up, so it was processed. It’s funny as I do get the notifications for the comments. Who can understand technology? 🙂
Awesomeness. I don’t understand it for sure. Thank you for resubscribing.
God Bless You,
Nancy
Frank was so lucky to have you as his rock. What he must have been going through no one wants to really know. It was good he had love on his side.
Thank you, Brianna. I was so lucky to have him in my life. He was a true blessing to me.
God Bless You,
Nancy
Awesome Chapter. Frank’s wring is a testament to TRUE masculinity!
Thank you, Chuck.
Thank you
Thank you