While heading to the treadmill this morning, I decided to stop a minute, go into the bathroom, and just trim my bangs a little because I was tired of them tickling my eyebrows.
Being fully dressed in my sports bra, shirt, shorts, socks, and tennis shoes was not a problem because it was just gonna be a quick trim of my bangs. There was absolutely no reason to worry about getting hair on me.
Of course, I also wore my “sweet” Artificial Intelligent Fitbit on my arm, so it could record my every move then give me those subliminal, encouraging messages it runs across its “sweet face”. Why would I want to miss those messages?
After entering the bathroom, I opened the top drawer of the vanity which also holds the sink in the bathroom, got out the scissors, and the brush then I proceeded to cut my bangs. All was going well as I trimmed my bangs but then I decided that I would also trim just a little of my hair off the top of my head. Well, one thing leads to another and suddenly I was in real haircut mode.
When you cut your own hair, you really should just lock all of the doors, shut the blinds and strip down to your birthday suit. There are serious consequences if you should decide to go in fully dressed, socks, shoes, and your “sweet” Fitbit on your arm.
- You will get hair all over you, even inside the sports bra you are wearing that is so tight you could barely get it on. How that happens is a true mystery but it will happen.
- Your tennis shoes and socks will have hair on them that seems to just stick to them protruding like a coarse beard.
- Of course, if you wear your Fitbit it will pick this time to tell you it is time to “GO! GO! GO!”. Just take it off and lay it in the hair!
- You will end up having to strip down to your birthday suit and shake your body before leaving the bathroom so as not to leave a hair trail behind you.
- Go take a shower, get dressed, and prepare yourself for attacking the bathroom to get that flying hair mess up.
Okay, those five things above are things you really need to know but what I am fixing to tell you is very important information about cleaning up the bathroom.
When you are at a hair salon, the hair seems to just fall to the floor and stay there but when you are cutting your own hair it will not do this. It will fly everywhere and stick to all things. You will need to get the broom, dustpan, and for big gun major suction power, the vacuum cleaner.
Don’t be surprised to find hair on the door, in the bathtub, under the dressing table, and sticking to the sides of the toilet. Believe me, you will find hair in all of these places but rarely on the ceiling. (Of course, there was that one time that hair did fly up to the ceiling when it was cold outside and a lot of electricity was in the air.) Just be diligent at thinking of places where the little cut pieces of your hair may be hiding.
After you have cleaned that bathroom which you think has been done thoroughly, (I guarantee you pieces of hair are still hiding) look in the mirror, stare at yourself a moment, then ask yourself this question, “Why the dickens didn’t I just go to the hair salon?”.
Trust me, just go get your hair cut at the hair salon.
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WOW!! What a description! Reading this was a great way to begin my day. The vision is one of a wild woman just attacking everything with a pair of scissors, hair flying everywhere! Everyone…Stand Back! Lol
Lol! Kim, I really wasn’t quite that wild but those darn little fine pieces of hair just seem to fly everywhere! I am so glad you enjoyed this blog, I had a lot of fun writing it. I love humor and see it in all things. Thank you for your comment.
God Bless you,
Nancy
Too funny, I remember years ago when I was a kid (that was many, many years ago) I thought I would try and trim the hair that was hanging into my eyes. As you so rightly say, one thing led to another and I created a disaster on my head and a mess on the floor.
My mother (who did not cut hair) had to take me on the long trip to town to get it tidied up before I could go to school the next day.
Thank you for your comment Peter. I have made some pretty big messes of my hair at times but thank God it always grows out. Lol. Thank you for sharing your experience with me.
God Bless you,
Nancy
Great fun to read, Nancy. I used to cut my own hair, even give myself perms. But I have not cut my hair in decades as once I decided to let it grow, that was no longer necessary. The last time I went to a hairdresser for a cut and style was sometime in the late 60s – a very long time ago. I remember as a teenager going to get my hair cut. My hairdresser (who was also my Sunday School teacher and friend) would always say it didn’t need much trimming. But when she finished, there was always a very large amount of hair on the floor. I agree that when you do it yourself those hairs just go down your neck and start prickling, and everywhere else. I’m glad I don’t have to worry about that any more. I don’t even seem to get split ends that need trimming. Love your humor.
Thank you so much Diane. Thank you for sharing your experience and commenting.
Yes those stray pieces of hair are real travelers.
Thank you for liking my humor too.
God Bless You
Nancy