A Quote from Me

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Although they had taken days longer than expected, letters were beginning to arrive,  Frank and I had both been very worried about each other but getting a letter helped calm our fears.

Frank sounded so happy in his last few letters and that made me happy.  It always made me feel better when I knew he was light-hearted and not so depressed.  For some reason, I felt that he was safer from danger.  Frank felt the same way about me.  When I wrote a letter that was upbeat, he knew that I had a good day and was not depressed which meant I was probably eating right.  Frank was so afraid that I would get sick and he could not be there for me and I had the same fears about him.

The next letter is full of Frank being witty and mischievous.

April 14, 1971

Dear Nancy,

How’s this day find you?  I hope very well.  I’m fine and doing well.  I miss you and love you very much.  You’re utmost in my mind night and day.  I feel that you know this so I won’t try and find the words to express my feelings for you.  Just think about the greatest feeling a heart can feel or hold and that’s my feelings for you.  You know how I tick and how I fell so you should know how much it hurts being away from you. 

Hey, how’s the California Dreaming coming?  Pretty soon my small brain is going to be completely eaten up by it.  Each day the old thoughts devour part of my tiny brain.  Pretty soon you’re going to have a brainless bum on your hands.  But you’ll also have the most loving husband on your hands anyone ever thought of having. Gosh, I’m getting all excited about it again.  Down Boy!!  Did I see a flicker of a smile?  I hope so. 

If I even see a frown on your face again, I’m going to hug you then beat my head against the wall for making you frown.  I want you to be forever happy and I’ll do anything I can to make you that way.  And if it takes 24 hours of making love a day, well I guess I’ll just have to suffer through it.  HA! HA!

Keep smiling and stay happy for me.  God bless you.

Your Sex Starved Hubby,

Frank

P.S. Guess what?  I love you.

The above letter makes me smile at the remembrance of Frank’s humor and mischievousness.  He could always find a way to make me laugh.

In this next letter, Frank is beginning to wonder if I am just writing happy letters and not sharing with him how depressed or upset that I might be.  If you remember, I had done that several times but it upset and depressed Frank so much because he could not be by my side to hold and comfort me.  There is something that I have not shared with him but it will come up soon.

April 14, 1971

Dear Nancy,

I love you.  Hi!!  How’s my lovely wife today?  I hope this day finds you very much in love with your husband.  This day and every other day find your husband deeply in love with you.  

Just had to write a short note to you to let you know I love you and am thinking of you every moment and that everything is alright.  

How are you?  You making it all right?  You getting depressed too much.  Any problems?  Let me know, don’t keep it inside you.  Listen to “Bridge Over Troubled Water” by Simon and Garfunkel.  I want you to feel that way about me. 

You know you can depend on me for anything.  Use me cause that’s what I’m here for. I realize I’ve had my weak moments but I hope those are all in the past.  I’ve found my strength again in you and I pray you can do the same.

I got a letter off to Theresa and Lloyd last night after I wrote you to thank them for the Easter card they sent me.  I hope you had an enjoyable Easter.

Well, Darling, I know it’s short but it’s time to crash, so goodnight my most precious.  Sleep well and dream of the days to come when you won’t be alone. 

All my love to my Darling, Nancy,

Frank

P.S.  276 DLITA

P.S.P.S.  If you get a chance read “Love Story” by Eric Segal.  It’s the best book I’ve ever read.  I know you’ll love it.

I do not remember reading “Love Story” as a book but I do know that Frank and I went to see the movie.

Well, the next letter refers to the “tough love letter” that Frank wrote to me. This letter had taken longer to reach me than Frank thought and I know he was waiting for my reaction to his letter.  He had written some very disturbing letters to me but they came in a bunch so I realized what had happened.  Pretty sure God grouped those letters.

Frank decided to send me a quote from the letter I wrote back to him.  Also, Frank tells how the letters came in a bunch instead of one letter a day.   Let’s see how I did.

April 19, 971

Dear Nancy,

Hello Sweetheart.  I love you so very much.  I got no mail for five days and then yesterday I got four letters and today I got another one.  I’m really proud of myself.  I didn’t get upset like last time.  I knew you were writing and I just had patience.  So, let me answer some of your questions and give my ideas on some subjects you mentioned during the past five days.

You say you just can’t explain how lonely you are and how much you miss me.  You don’t have to  I feel the same way and I understand how you feel.  I feel it too.

You say you liked the picture because it was me and I’m beautiful?  That was old freckles himself.  Women are beautiful.  Men are ugly.  Especially ones with freckles and receding hairlines.

Dodo.  So you finally figured out what FTA was.  What took you so long?

Tell me what you got me.  Please.  Pretty please.  I didn’t want you to spend your money on me and you’re going to get a good whipping when the old man gets home.  Won’t that be fun?  HEH, HEH, HEH.

President Nixon’s been blowing off at the mouth for three years now about pulling more out.  Even if he does it won’t be us.  So don’t get your hopes up.

About keeping in shape.  How can a guy keep in shape without practice?  Since you’re there and I’m here, there is no practice what so ever.  But you should probably worry about you and the bed holding up.  HA! HA!

Look Honey quit worrying about me when you don’t hear from me.  I write at least every other day sometimes two days go by but never more.  The mail gets hung up often, either here or a thousand other places along the way.  So be patient and believe in me.

I want to quote you, “You had better sit down and get yourself straight.  I love you and only you and I’m not running around on you and I never will.  The love I have for you is my life.   Listen, Dimples, you had better worry about the way a rock is lying on the ground as to worry about me because Darling, I love you and I need you with me forever and ever.” That’s beautiful. 

You love me very much to say things like that to me.  Thanks for the small fussing out.  I don’t look at it as nagging but I see it the way that you love me and you don’t want me messed up or confused.  I thank you for that kind of love.  I love you !!!!!

I look thin, huh?  Well, the old belly is still there to squash the breath out of you.  So don’t be so hopeful.  HA! HA!

I had better hear about this doctor bit.  You haven’t said a word and then boom, I may have to go into the hospital for a test.  You let me know how you’re feeling.  You are all I have and I want to hear how you’re doing.  OK?

Honey, that’s about it.  I’m running out of gas.  I hope I’ve been able to answer some of your questions.  Please take care of yourself.  I love you so much. 

How about sending me a picture of you? Well, I’d better close for now.  Goodbye, beautiful and know that I love you so very much.  God keep you safe for me until I can do it for myself.

Your Loving Husband,

Frank

P.S.  Have you gotten my gift for you yet?  Don’t open it till May 8th.  NO PEEKING!!!!!!

Well, I am sure that Frank was not expecting that small chewing out.  I did my best not to upset him but to let him know how much I loved him.  Frank knew how much I loved him but things happening to others around him who were receiving surprise “Dear John” letters from wives or girlfriends had him upset.

Finally, after Frank kept asking, I let him know about what was going on with the Doctor.  Since I only had one day of spotting in three months, the Doctor wanted to run a pregnancy test and if I was not pregnant then run some other tests.

I really did not want to tell Frank about having the pregnancy test, get his hopes up, or cause him undue worry but he kept asking.  I knew he knew something was going on.  We felt each other’s feelings in our hearts even though we were so far apart.  Also, we could see those feelings in each other’s handwriting. Both of these are a part of being one heart and soul.

The following letter is Frank’s reaction to me writing him and telling him.  As you will see, it will upset him way too much and he will blame himself.

April 20, 1971

Dear Nancy,

Darling, I feel so damn helpless.  You need me there and there’s nothing I can do about it.

I got your letter today about the pregnancy test and how you were scared of losing the baby if you were.  To me, you being well and safe means more to me than a baby.  I want you to find out what’s wrong and see if you can’t get it fixed.  I think all these overdue periods and terrible cramps have got to go.  So please get all the test run and see if they can’t find out what’s wrong so you’ll be well again.

God, I worry about you.  Please don’t let anything happen to yourself.  You’re all I have.  I’m so sorry I’m not there when you need me for reassurance and comforting you.  I feel that it’s in a way my fault.  I cause you so much anguish and turmoil.  You’re needing me and wanting me there with you doesn’t help your health. Your worry about me and your loneliness don’t let you eat or sleep as you should.  So, it’s my fault.

You go through so much for me.  Am I really worth it?  All the pain, heartache, and despair you go through for me, is it all really worth it?  I know I’m knocking myself but whose got more right?  I know me and what I am better than anyone else.  The only thing I’ve got going for me and the only thing that means anything to me is the love I hold for you.

I don’t see how you can realize how much I love you.  I love you more than I can ever express on paper.  If you’ll wait for me I’ll show you just how much I do love you.  Anything you ever want if it’s humanly possible, I’ll get for you.  I’ll do anything in the world for you, Nancy.  Just ask.  It’s wonderful to be in love but also it hurts.

Hey, it’s almost May.  Then the months start to fly.  The Summer months always seem to fly.  The first thing you know it’s September.  Then from September to December flys too because you’re thinking of the holidays and birthdays.  The only time that passes slowly is from January to May.  Guess what?  That’s almost past.  Pretty soon it’ll be time to plan that vacation to California.  Vacation nothing, more like a Second Honeymoon.

How’s the taping going?  I’ve been anxiously awaiting it in the mail.

Some lowdown S.O.B.  stole my last $20.  I missed some money a couple of days ago but I just figured I loaned it to someone or spent it and didn’t remember.  That was about $10.  Today, I had $20 in my wallet and 70¢ when I went out to play ball.  I left my wallet out, of course.  You just don’t mistrust guys you work with and live with.  Well, when I got back I had 70¢.  Other guys have missed money tool  Why do I trust people?

Wait a minute.  I know what you’re thinking.  Don’t send me any money.  By the time it got here payday will have already come.  So thanks for the thought but I don’t need it.  I just thought you’d like to know what exciting thing happened to me today.

Baby, I’d better close for now and get some much-needed sleep.  For God’s sake, let me know what’s happening at the doctors.  You know I’ll worry till I hear from you about it.  I want all of it and the truth too.  Hear!

Good night my Darling and remember me in your prayers as I remember you in mine.  God bless you and help you along until I’m there to do it for you.  All my love is yours for the taking, now and forever.

Your Loving Husband,

Frank

P.S.  When you going to kiss me?

Well, now you all know something else that was going on with me during this time.  I had to let Frank know because of the test they would be running if I wasn’t pregnant.  Did I mention feeling like I was in the Twilight Zone?

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2 Comments

  1. I feel the emotions riding high in these letters. You never have to read between the lines to figure out what Frank is saying. Everything is completely open. I have shared it on FaceBook and Twitter. God bless you, Nancy.

    • Thank you so much Diane. I love haow he talked about the months of the year. He was encouraging me through. He was so open about everything. I realized in two of those letters that he was not getting my mail but being strong through it. Although being so far apart we felt each others feelings. Thank you so much for sharing and commenting.
      God Bless You, Diane
      I love you,
      Nancy

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